Go Yeongeun thought that it would, or rather, that it should. As she watched her appendages fade away into oblivion, she tried to flex her fingers and— nothing. She couldn’t feel anything. She heard that even those who lost limbs in war or work accidents felt as if they still had everything intact sometimes. There was a name for it.
Yet she felt nothing where her fingers used to be. No phantom limb syndrome, no ache. It was if her fingers had never been there in the first place.
“Deal?” The smiling and mismatched blue-haired woman behind the roulette counter asked chipperly, and elaborated as Go Yeongeun hesitated, “this table is for players only, ma’am. Would you like to deal in?”
It should have hurt.
It wasn’t the first time she lost body parts before. She imagined it definitely hurt when she lost an ear, even if the pain had been numbed by the machines. Even if she got a mechanical replacement immediately after, and there hadn’t been any blood to ruin the collar of her only good work shirt. She had been so frightened then, like a snow rabbit in a blank white field but surrounded by hawks in the sky.
“Ma’am?”
Go Yeongeun stared blankly at the roulette table until her vision swam. She felt light-headed. She felt as if she might suddenly float up into the air like a balloon and not come down again. She didn’t want to think about her situation or her fingers or where she was, or, god forbid, her parents.
She just needed—
She needed—
Food and water. To survive.
Go Yeongeun approached the roulette table and touched the edge of its shiny counter with the skin of her palm (because her fingers were not there anymore). She turned her swimming vision to the familiar looking woman with the wide smile.
“Yes,” her voice didn’t sound like her own. The world didn’t feel real. She should be in pain. “Deal me in.”
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Goral Event -- anaesthetic
Go Yeongeun thought that it would, or rather, that it should. As she watched her appendages fade away into oblivion, she tried to flex her fingers and— nothing. She couldn’t feel anything. She heard that even those who lost limbs in war or work accidents felt as if they still had everything intact sometimes. There was a name for it.
Yet she felt nothing where her fingers used to be. No phantom limb syndrome, no ache. It was if her fingers had never been there in the first place.
“Deal?” The smiling and mismatched blue-haired woman behind the roulette counter asked chipperly, and elaborated as Go Yeongeun hesitated, “this table is for players only, ma’am. Would you like to deal in?”
It should have hurt.
It wasn’t the first time she lost body parts before. She imagined it definitely hurt when she lost an ear, even if the pain had been numbed by the machines. Even if she got a mechanical replacement immediately after, and there hadn’t been any blood to ruin the collar of her only good work shirt. She had been so frightened then, like a snow rabbit in a blank white field but surrounded by hawks in the sky.
“Ma’am?”
Go Yeongeun stared blankly at the roulette table until her vision swam. She felt light-headed. She felt as if she might suddenly float up into the air like a balloon and not come down again. She didn’t want to think about her situation or her fingers or where she was, or, god forbid, her parents.
She just needed—
She needed—
Food and water. To survive.
Go Yeongeun approached the roulette table and touched the edge of its shiny counter with the skin of her palm (because her fingers were not there anymore). She turned her swimming vision to the familiar looking woman with the wide smile.
“Yes,” her voice didn’t sound like her own. The world didn’t feel real. She should be in pain. “Deal me in.”