NaNo2014 day 9

[shamera]

The wedding preparations continued despite still not knowing that actual date. Soon enough, however, what needed to be done in case Serah wanted to get married that very day started to die down a little, giving Hope more space to breathe… and sadly, more time to think about things.

Lightning’s demeanor that night had softened just slightly after Hope admitted he didn’t remember what the others were talking about, and she convinced him not to spend his time looking into it.

“I’ll find out what happened.” She assured him. “You need to focus on those tests of yours, just as Snow and Serah need to focus on their wedding.”

It was short and succinct, but felt somehow lackluster. There were a few more comments exchanged, each of those a reiteration of how Hope shouldn’t get involved; should stay safe and they would take care of everything.

They left him with a computer and his books laid out on the desk in his room, Lightning supervising for a while before she was called away for something else. The books had been the stipulation Bartholomew wheedled in exchange for the Bodhum trip: study hard and be prepared for the exams. But Hope could barely pay attention to the words on the page, his attention split between what he should be learning and the situation at hand. Once in a while, he’d also be distracted by others shouting outside his room, moving things around for the impending wedding. The books were simple enough anyway. Review. It didn’t take Hope long to cover most of his topic, wandering from his room once in a while to ask if anyone needed help. The answer was always no.

“You just keep hitting those books!” Vanille told him cheerfully, smacking one fist into her other hand dramatically, as if reenacting a battle. “Until the books start hitting back, yeah?”

The statement was accompanied by a giggle as she herded him back again. It was better than before when Hope had admitted he remembered nothing of what they described to him. Both she and Serah had been unbearably awkward with what they revealed, but somehow relieved as well.

Their redirection of all conversation was so painfully obvious that within a day Hope had taken to sneaking from his room and attempting to avoid them without it looking like he was avoiding them.

Which, of course, was much harder than the initial plan.

“What’s up, little man?” Snow asked as Hope was trying to sneak food from the kitchen for a midnight snack. Hope startled, feeling his heartbeat spike even as he recognized Snow’s voice. He whirled and brought a finger up to his lips, shushing the older man perhaps much louder than he should have.

Snow, for the most part, backed up a step and raised his hands in surrender, lips twisted up in amusement. “Alright, alright. Shh. Got it. We’re hunting monsters.”

Hope deflated from his tense pose, dropping his arm. “...No. Just getting food.”

“Because that needs so much discretion when Lebreau’s been trying to stuff enough food into you to make you explode this past week.”

“I’m not hiding from Lebreau.” Hope countered, before wincing.

“Ah-ha.” Snow stepped forward a dropped a heavy arm around Hope’s shoulders, ignoring the boy’s squeak. “But you’re hiding from someone else, right? Nice try, kiddo. Is it Vanille? Or is it Sis? I’m surprised you guys aren’t spending more time together, actually. Thought you’d be glued to her side. C’mon, what is it? Can’t say nothing now that I’ve caught you sneaking around the house.”

“I’m not sneaking.”

Snow brought a finger to his lips in a rendition of the pose Hope had taken just moments before, although with a grin instead and a raised eyebrow to prove his point.

Hope refused to relent. “Besides, you said it: Lebreau’s been trying to feed me more, anyway. Me getting food isn’t a crime.”

“Sure it isn’t.” Snow agreed pleasantly, maneuvering him into the kitchen from the hallway where Snow had snuck up on him. It was cool and dark, much more spacious with the linger lights over the stove telling the time. The room was sparkling clean, likely from Lebreau’s obsessive tendency of blowing up at anyone who made a mess in her kitchen. “I think I’ll get something to eat, too.”

Hope made a face. So much for his simple in and out plan so he wouldn’t have to speak to anyone. “You’ll get fat before your wedding and Serah won’t want to marry you anymore.”

“Ouch! Geez, Hope, you really don’t pull the punches, do you?”

Hope didn’t answer that, instead fuming quietly at his failed plan.

“Besides,” Snow continued as the wandered over the fridge, pulling it open so that the light illuminated his figure. It was only then that Hope realized the man was wearing a white bathrobe and fuzzy slippers with a worn stitched face smiling up, and that his blond hair was in a complete disarray, sticking up from every which direction now that it wasn’t held back with his usual bandana. The man hummed in consideration for a moment before pulling out a container. “I’ve been meaning to talk with you for a while.”

“Oh, no,” Hope groaned, although his tone was flat. “This can’t be good.”

Snow tossed him a packet from the fridge, forcing Hope to reach up and catch it before it could hit him in the face. It was a small container with chilled leftovers from dinner, the packaging bright and colorful in a style he wouldn’t have reconciled with Lebreau before this trip.

“So what’s going on with you?” Snow asked again, taking his own package and settling down on one of the stools by the kitchen island. He patted the stool next to him. “It isn’t anything to do with the wedding, is it? Because, you know, I know it’s taking up everyone’s time but they all still care for you—”

“Oh. No.” Hope made a disgruntled expression, his nose scrunching up even as he slinked over to the stool somewhat warily. He doubted he’d be able to escape whatever conversation Snow wanted to have even if he left the kitchen now. With his luck, the older man would take his leaving as an invitation to take the conversation to his room, where Hope wouldn’t be able to escape at all. At least here, he had the tactical advantage of leaving if he really needed to and running to his room before locking Snow out. “That’s dumb. I don’t need attention. I’m not a pet.”

“No, you’re a kid.” Snow reached to tousle his hair. “I heard those need even more attention than pets.”

“Haha.” Hope reached to push his hand off. “Funny.”

“I’m working on it.” Snow quipped with a short laugh. “I’ll keep going if you don’t tell me why you’re avoiding people. Is it the girls? Is Vanille putting ribbons in your hair? Serah using you as a mannequin for everything she’s making?”

“Why does everyone think Vanille is going to put ribbons in my hair?” Hope asked, bewildered. “Should I be worried? Is she going to do that?”

“Nah.” Snow told him, opening his container. The scent of tomato sauce slipped out even as the man stabbed a fork into the pasta and twirled it. “If she hasn’t done it yet, you should be safe. Maybe. I’d keep an eye out for her either way. No, I take that back: be afraid. Be very afraid.”

The blond gave him a wide grin before starting on his food. Hope just picked at his own package in response, suddenly not sure if he wanted to eat at the moment. He wasn’t all that hungry, but food helped him concentrate sometimes and he had a feeling that he should eat every time he actually remembered about food.

(It was strange, like he gained the habit of not eating until he remembered about it. Except that wasn’t right, because he ate regular meals.)

“So,” Snow said around a mouthful of food. “What is it? If it’s not the wedding preparations getting to you, what’s wrong?”

“There’s nothing wrong.” Hope denied, and then sighed as Snow gave him a dubious look. He gave up at picking at the package of leftovers and brought his elbows up on the kitchen island, using both hands to prop up his chin as he frowned. “Fine. I just don’t know what to say to them lately, I guess. There’s nothing wrong.”

“Them?” Snow jabbed the fork in his direction. “C’mon, specify.”

Hope shrugged. “Them? Like… Light and Vanille and Serah. I guess.”

Everyone else was too busy to really worry about talking to him. Sazh was gone more than half the time, spending more time with Dajh but also bringing the little boy to help out once in a while. Snow, being one of the main leads in the event, was kept busy through the day. Fang… well.

Honestly, Fang was a breath of fresh air every time she visited, usually on the way in from hunts and waiting for Vanille to finish with whatever she was doing to help Serah with the wedding. She tended to give a few sardonic remarks about his books not being practical for life on Gran Pulse, and then ask him questions about what he wanted to be when he grew up which he usually answered with the more obscure of responses that made her crack up laughing.

“Ahh.” Snow gave a knowing nod before eating another mouthful of pasta, chewing thoughtfully for a moment before continuing, “Now I get it.”

Hope glared down at his food package. It figured that Snow would know about that conversation. Everyone knew about everything except for him. Snow was in on it too, even if it wasn’t his fault. They must have all agreed not to tell him, and then all agreed to further keep it from him even after he got better. And on top of that, now everyone knew about that confrontation.

“Girl problems.” Snow summarized with a sagely nod. “Ahh, don’t worry about it, Hope. We’ve all been there. It’s just a time in your life when you start noticing to feminine wiles, when your own body starts changing on you in ways you never imagined it could change, and —”

Hope’s horror grew with each word until he finally clapped both hands over his ears. “No way, nuh-uh! Lalalalala… I don’t need to listen to this!”

“It’s nothing to be embarrassed about!” Snow quipped, his voice raised to compensate for Hope’s attempt to squash his own hearing. “I might not be the best person to tell you about this, but it’s not something that should be ignored. Well! Okay, guess it’s up to me to start this conversation. Hope—”

Hope slipped off the stool, both hands still pressed tightly against his ears, but Snow snagged the back of his jacket

“Girls can be confusing.” The blond continued to say, as if Hope hadn’t been trying to escape. “And suddenly talking to them is a completely different experience. That’s okay, though, because—”

Taking just a moment to uncover his ears, Hope slipped deftly out of his jacket and raced out of the kitchen, leaving Snow holding on to the yellow jacket.

—

Due to convenience, Serah finally decided on the wedding to be held the day Hope would have to leave so that Bartholomew could attend as well just by coming by and picking up his son. The ceremony would start in the morning and the party would continue until sundown when Hope would finally have to leave for home.

All too soon, or not soon enough as Hope worked twice as hard to avoid not just Lightning, Serah, and Vanille, but Snow as well (luckily, both Yuj and Maqui were quite sympathetic to his plight and would hide him when Snow was heading his direction), his last day in New Bodhum came around.

He woke up that morning before the sun came up, grasping groggily for the light by his bed as the knocking on his door grew louder.

“Up and at them, Hope!” Lebreau’s voice was slightly muffled by the wooden barrier. “Time to wake up! Wedding’s in three hours, and we’ve got lots to do!”

“Yeah, up and at ‘em!” Snow’s voice echoed behind Lebreau, sounding criminally awake and amused. “Can’t start this wedding without the flowerboy, you know?”

In response, Hope threw his pillow at the door with all his sleepy might, the slightly thump only increasing the amount of laughter beyond the door.

“Don’t be mean.” He could hear Lebreau berate the man beyond the door, although she sounded just as amused. “You know we didn’t prepare a dress in his size. You can’t promise him a position like that if we’re not prepared for it.”

The snort of laughter slowly faded away as the pair made their way further down the hall, continuing their early morning banter.

Hope collapsed back onto his bed, and then groaned in disapproval as his head went down further than he expected, the support of his pillow now gone. He stayed there for nearly a minute before he rolled over, feeling irritated from being awake that early. Still, he was more awake now and there really was too much to do before Snow and Serah’s wedding.

His alarm wasn’t set to go off for another fifteen minutes, but he turned it off anyway. He was already awake anyway. There was an outfit hanging on the back of his door, slightly disturbed by the pillow he had thrown earlier. It was another recent purchase, more coat than suit for formal occasion, seeing as the ceremony would take place outside in the ice and snow. Hope had refused the idea of an all black ensemble, instead choosing a dark grey color for formality. He wasn’t actually going to be a part of the ceremony, after all, and therefore wasn’t exactly subject to Vanille’s wild ideas on what he should wear.

But that didn’t mean he could get out of helping with the set-up.

With one finally groan of complaint, Hope pushed himself up from the bed and stretched his arms high over his head, shifting left to right.

It was ten minutes later when he answered positively to another knock on his door and Vanille peeked her head in, hair curled on the top of her hair and beaded with a few strands dangling from above her ears artfully. She blinked at the brightness of the room and then smiled widely as she saw Hope in his grey suit, tying a jacket around his waist to carry it with him when he eventually stepped outside.

“Good morning,” She greeted, and opened the door further to step in, a bounce in her step. She twirled in a circle in front of him, arms spread wide just as she had done when he arrived in New Bodhum nearly a week ago. “So? What do you think?”

Her dress was a light pink accented with a multitude of colors from the beading sewn into every inch of the dress. She was wearing a thick white undershirt that covered her wrists and white tights tucked into her normal boots.

“It looks great.” Hope complimented sincerely. He pulled at his own collar self-consciously, feeling somewhat silly now next to her. He had chosen a suit with tie and a pink flower tucked into the front pocket of his jacket, matching the flowers that all the guys were wearing. His father had sent him a dark green tie that was still too long for him, but that was easily remedied. In contrast, Vanile looked bright and bubbly along with formal, while he looked somber and far too serious.

Vanille reached out stop his fidgeting, her smile growing fond. “Thanks. You look great too, you know. Too grown up, though. We should fix that.”

She reached up and messed up his hair with both hands, giggling as he tried to escape her with little success.

“There.” She said cheerfully after a few seconds of him trying to bat her away. She tugged on the strand of hair that usually tended to wisp up rather than obey gravity with the rest of his hair. “All better. Now you look more like yourself.”

He made a protesting noise, although not very strongly, even as he raised his hands to pat down his hair again. He didn’t actually mind having his hair in a mess that much if it cheered Vanille up. They hadn’t really spoken in the past several days, both too busy to exchange more than greetings and also, in Hope’s opinion, still too awkward with each other.

(It didn’t help that Snow’s attempted conversation made it so that Hope would sputter each time he tried to speak to Vanille.)

Vanille’s smile wavered soon as her hands settled on his shoulders. “Hope… I know I didn’t tell you…”

“It’s okay.” Hope interjected, because he had a few days to digest the information now. It wasn’t as sharp anymore, and he didn’t like seeing Vanille upset. “Some lies are necessary, right? You always mean well. Intentions need to taken into consideration, too.”

He reached for a hand on his shoulder and linked his pinky with hers.

“It’s fine.”

—

It was snowing again, the entire beach and mountainside covered in a quiet layer of white, washing away all sense of color and time into a perfect scenery. No blemishes on the land, no darkness. Even the sky was so light that it hurt to look up directly despite there being no sign of the sun anywhere. The clouds radiated white, which seemed to concentrate down on Serah as she walked down the path outlined by flowers.

She was radiant, glowing and happy as she walked arm in arm with Lightning, who was wearing a pale pink dress with slits up to nearly her hips and thick leggings underneath, all of which only seemed to reflect the white Serah had wrapped herself in, her white wedding gown intricate with beading and leather knots, all bleached to match the snow around them. She wore layers upon layers of veils which almost hid the fact that her arms and back were almost entirely bare even in the cold weather, although her dress must have been at least a dozen layers, all of them slightly revealed with each step she took.

Hope sat next to his father in the front row on the bride’s side, where Lightning had instructed him to sit despite Snow protesting for a few seconds before she turned her glare on him.

He smiled as several of Serah’s students, dressed to the nines, walked in front of the duo and threw flower petals about the path enthusiastically. Hope glanced to the front briefly to see Snow looking… well, he had never seen such an expression before. He glanced away quickly, feeling oddly like an intruder to the scene.

Lieutenant Amodar had apparently taken the journey to officiate the ceremony for the happy couple, and Hope could feel a chill that had nothing to do with the air as the bride and groom met up at the front, surrounded by various decorations which had taken almost an entirely week to prepare. Lightning stepped to the side as she escorted Serah to her new husband’s side, and Hope could only briefly wonder at what she was feeling before he was hit by another wave of vertigo.

This never happened.

He squeezed his eyes shut and swallowed thickly, hoping that no one would notice his distress even as his throat tightened up and his lungs tried to expel all the air it could. He couldn’t draw attention to himself, not in this moment.

It was a strange and nauseating feeling, and he didn’t like it at all. The sense of oddness was the same as when he first left the hospital, when he got into the hovercar with Snow and Lightning and Vanille… except exponentially worse, greying the edge of his vision as he opened his eyes again.

No one this ever happened.

It felt unreal. Like a dream. Worse than a dream, because dreams didn’t feel like dreams. Hope could see their mouths moving, saying their vows, but his ears were ringing and while he wasn’t in pain, he felt like he was going to be sick.

There was a dull roar around him, and Hope blinked the spots out of his vision as everyone stood up, clapping. He stood with them, uneasy on his feet but also moving his hands to celebrate, finally noticing the kissing couple at the alter.

Slowly, very slowly, the sound started to filter back into his ears, and he could make out the whistling and cat-calls in the din and racket of clapping and happy congratulations. Serah was beaming, her smile brighter than anything he had seen, laughing as Snow picked her up and spun her in a circle.

I missed it, he thought dully even as he smiled and clapped. All this preparation and I missed the entire thing.

There was no way he could ignore the situation like the others asked him to. Not if this was going to happen. He had to get to the bottom of this — if he didn’t… Hope had a feeling that the feeling, the strange moments, would only get worse.

Drawing in a sharp breath after the constriction in his chest passed, Hope only smiled wider and clapped louder as Lightning’s eyes passed over him.