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[FFXIII-2] Anonymous (Part 1 out of... 4???) 5389 words
Title: Anonymous
Fandom: Final Fantasy XIII-2
Character/Pairing(s): ...Hope and IT'S A SECRET
Rating: PG
Warning: Wordy. I just rewrote Hope's life, part the first. (Thanks to Bekas for looking it over for me!)
Summary: Hope's got a secret admirer who only leaves presents on Valentine's Day.
When Hope was five, he found a box of chocolates waiting for him at his desk at school on Valentine's day as opposed to the mass of cards that would be handed out by everyone in class later in the day, all generic card-stock and with childish scribbles of 'Happy Valentine's!' written on it. The box was small and in the shape of a heart, wrapped in a soft, red velvet ribbon that loosened immediately when he tugged at the bow, eager to know what was inside. There was a golden 'Be mine?' inscription within, but no other indication of who it might have been from, and beautifully wrapped chocolates (they looked much better than the generic store brands that all the kids handed each other) inside.
Having satiated his curiosity, Hope had shut the box and shoved the entire thing in his bag right before the rest of his classmates started rushing into the room, excited by the prospect of sweets and gifts through the day, shouting greetings and dismayed whispered of not having done their homework because they had stayed up past their bedtime painstakingly writing out their cards.
Later when his mom came to pick him up, he brandished the box proudly, words falling over each other as he tried to describe just how excited he was about getting an 'actual present' for Valentine's, and eager to share half the box with her and his dad. Nora had looked shocked, and then skeptical, before she smiled widely and mock whispered to him that she had gotten Valentine chocolates as well, so if he shared half with her, then she would share half of hers with him.
At that age, Hope felt paranoid the rest of the day wondering just who was sending his mom Valentine chocolates and whether he had to fight them for her attention, not knowing that she felt just as paranoid to know her five year old son was getting expensive chocolates as well (she also tested half of each chocolate before letting her baby have the other half).
It was more of a pleasant, but still exciting, surprise to find another gift when he was six. This time it was a box, identifiable only because it was wrapped with the same red velvet ribbon that Hope had thought to keep from the year before.
The young boy sat down at his desk, baffled for a moment, before slowly pulling the knot apart and lifting up the lid, peeking inside to see a handful of store chocolates and a small modeling kit he had been discretely eying for the past few weeks in shop windows. It was, he thought excitedly as he pulled out the kit to examine the packaging and then tear into it, much more exciting than a handful of cards and some sweets.
(That night after he told his parents about the present and went to bed, Nora and Bartholomew had a serious discussion on whether the gifts were a problem or not.)
When Hope was seven, Kai managed to find his gift while going through his bag in search of a replacement pencil.
“What’s this?” The other boy asked curiously, inciting both Hope and Elida’s attention as he pulled out the small box, shaking it around to hear the rattle of chocolates and a small children’s book that barely fit inside about mythology. “Did you get a present from a girl, Hope?”
The way he mentioned girl made Elida huff and cross her arms, “And what does that mean, Kai? Huh?”
“Girls are gross.” Was the dark-haired boy’s explanation, entirely casual as he nodded to her. “Except for you, of course.”
The girl in question calmed a little, although she still looked irritated.
“It’s just a present.” Hope explained when Kai handed the box over to him, fingering the red ribbon. “I’ve been getting them for the past few years.”
“Maybe it’s from your parents.” Elida suggested, also reaching a hand to tug at the ribbon. Hope was used to her prodding and didn’t move away. “I’ve heard stories like that! And you have the nicest parents.”
“Maybe.” Hope admitted reluctantly, although he didn’t think so. “I thought it might have been from you guys.”
Elida and Kai looked at each other, but then shook their heads in unison.
“Nuh-uh.” Kai said. “I only give those stupid cards because I have to. Valentine’s is weird, dude.”
“I get presents.” Elida said haughtily, shaking out her hair. “I don’t have enough of an allowance to give them. Sorry, Hope.”
The white-haired boy shook his head. “It’s okay. It’s just a mystery to be solved, then.”
After sharing the chocolates from the box, the three of them mostly forgot about the matter.
Valentine’s Day at eight years old had started off rather disappointing, especially when Hope had wheedled his parents into letting him go to school early only to find that he still wasn’t the first one to get to class. There were several girls there already, standing on chairs to put up decorations and giggling at each other as they left neat little packages on the desk of boys they liked. They had all frozen up when he entered the room, looking guilty but then annoyed to see him.
One of the girls, a little blonde with pigtails, had pointed at him and wailed, “He’s going to ruin all our plans and tell everyone!”
Hope had backpedalled out of the room with apologies on his lips as the group of girls started pelting paper decorations at him, demanding that he get out and that if he ever told anyone about the surprise they were leaving for the cutest boys in class, they were going to skin him alive.
Later on in the day, Elida managed to bully the truth out of Hope about how he was so down on the day when he was usually happiest, and she went on to yell at the group of girls (right in front of the boys they liked) about how they were heartless harpies while Kai menacingly (or not so menacingly since he and Hope weren’t exactly the biggest kids in class) blocked the exits so that the other children couldn’t get out until she was done and so no teachers would be able to hear the little spiel, either. She managed to pull out a list (an actual list she had printed out!) to read all the negative traits those girls out, from little things to big things, until she had all the girls in tears and the guys shrinking back in their seats.
The girls later told the teachers on Elida anyway, but all she got was a light scolding since she hadn’t actually started a fistfight, and the teachers only hadn’t actually seen the incident and only had the words of several hysterical girls to go on.
Right as Hope was going to leave school that day, still slightly disappointed no matter how grateful he was for his friends, Kai had run up to him and shoved a box into his hands, the white casing dirty and a familiar red ribbon wrapped around it. Hope had accepted the gift with wide eyes.
“Elida found it,” his friend explained excitedly. “Emily was wearing that ribbon as a hair tie, and, well, you know Elida! She’s loud and screechy, but pretty amazing, since she got Emily to confess about just what they did to your present and give back the bow, too. But, uh... they took all the chocolates. Gave it all away, apparently, and then threw the box away. So it’s empty, but we thought you might like to have it, anyway.”
Inside the dirtied box was once again a golden script. ‘For Hope’ it said. ‘Things will be better, I promise. Happy Valentine’s Day.’
Hope reached to give his best friend a hug and babbling his thanks while Kai patted his back awkwardly, and the white-haired boy made a mental note to give Elida a fantastic White Day gift somehow.
(He didn’t manage to get her that White Day gift since only days prior to the holiday, the three of them managed to get lost in the Sunleth Waterscape and had subsequently gotten too ill to go to school for a week, but Hope did manage to pitch in with Kai to get her a new home karaoke machine for her birthday that year.)
That night, his mom helped him clean off the box with a warm towel while his dad went to the store and bought extra chocolates to put in the box for when Hope woke up the next morning.
“It’s okay,” Nora soothed as she and her son wiped away at the grime that was covering the fragile box. “We’ll do Valentine’s Day tomorrow instead. That means today wasn’t Valentine’s, so the gift isn’t late after all.”
At nine, Hope had barely managed to sit down at his desk before Elida came up smugly to drop a wrapped box on his desk.
“I got here first.” She explained. “And made sure no one could get to it this time.”
As if a switch had been flipped, she suddenly leaned over, looking far too excited. “Open it, open it! I want to see what’s inside this year.”
Hope had to lean back away from the girl, now half a head taller than he was and dressed in things like miniskirts because she was convinced she could meet an entertainer who would take notice of her talents any day now, almost afraid that she would snatch the gift out of his hands and maybe take his arms with her if he didn’t comply as fast as she liked.
“It’s just chocolates.” He responded, feeling small under her amount of enthusiasm, although his fingers were already playing with the soft velvet of the ribbon. “There’s not always something else in there.”
“Hope Estheim,” Elida nearly shrieked. “I got here earlier than I normally wake up just to make sure you got your Valentine’s from your secret admirer without anyone else stealing it, and I want to know what you got this year when you told me before this person’s been giving you presents for over three years already!”
The few other children in class all stopped their conversations to stare at them, and Hope squirmed lower in his seat at the attention (and just maybe, the seething fury of his best friend).
“You said it was probably my parents.” He nearly squeaked out, avoiding everyone’s curious eyes. He flushed red at the realization of how that must have sounded, but then decided to press on. “It’s most likely not a secret admirer at all.”
“Nuh-uh.” The girl intoned proudly. “I asked your parents about it, and your mom told me straight out that they weren’t the ones sending it.”
Well, that was one mystery solved, especially since Hope had never wanted to confront his parents about Valentine’s, half afraid of the answer and half because he was just embarrassed at how his mom smirked at him and how worried she would look afterward. It was probably better that Elida had been the one to demand answers, since she was very good at that; so good that no one seemed to be able to tell her no, unless their name was Kai and he happened to be mad at her.
It was the outbreak of hushed whispers that only children could manage that had him trying to hide his face... and the box. And it was only then that Elida even realized they were being watched, and she stood up straight again with a defiant glare and her hands on her hips, looking both stern and rather bossy.
“And the rest of you can mind your own business!” She told them, watching intently until each kid went back to whatever it was they had been doing before.
“Elida...” Hope pleaded, knowing it was useless to reason with the girl who wanted to be a diva. She certainly already had the traits for the job.
“C’mon.” She grabbed a hold of his wrist and dragged him up and out of his chair, pulling him along as she huffed and left the room behind, and not stopping until they were halfway done the hall away from other classes as well, before spinning to face him. “You know, you usually don’t really care about things like this. You’re always so sharing... and now you’re all tied up in knots over this thing. What gives?”
Hope shrugged, trying to act as casual about it as possible, even with his cheeks still flushed. It was a different feeling, and he didn’t quite like it. “I just didn’t want everyone else to see. It’s... it’s mine, you know? Like a secret, or a mystery.”
Elida stared at him for a few moments before she started snickering under a hand. “—-You’re such an only child. ‘I don’t want to share!’”
Her high pitched imitation of his voice turned his ears red. “You’re an only child, too!”
“What are you guys even doing out here?” Came a voice from behind them. “Class starts in a few minutes, you know!”
“Kai!” Elida was delighted as she waved him over, making shushing noises like it was a grand secret. “Hope got a gift from his secret admirer again.”
The dark-haired boy came closer easily enough, hands still looped through his backpack straps. “I hope it’s not Liza — no offense, Hope, but she’s way too weird.”
“It can’t be Liza.” Elida declared for him. “He’s been getting these forever. She’s only moved here last year. And she never gets anyone Valentines, anyway. I heard she won’t get them for anyone until they get one for her first.”
“Think it’s Mami?” Kai asked, and Hope felt his temper flare up for just a moment.
“Guys!” He nearly shouted just to get their attention away from gossip. “Can we not, really?”
“Don’t you want to know, though?” Elida insisted. “You’ve been getting them forever, right? You’ve got to find out sometime!”
“And I’m sure I will.” Hope said, not backing down. “But it doesn’t matter right now, right? It’s my mystery, so can’t it stay that way?”
The other two children quieted down, although it was easy to tell they were still sulking. Elida sniffed, turning her head up as if she hadn’t just been gossiping about Hope’s potential secret admirer, and then returned to the original subject in hand. “Fine. I won’t say any more on it if you open that present right now and let me see what’s in it.”
Hope didn’t really want to, but he also couldn’t think of a reason why he shouldn’t. Maybe Elida had been right, and there was some selfish want to keep the present his secret only, but despite what she said about him being an only child, Hope had always been the sharing kind. He didn’t understand it himself, really, but this was just one thing he wanted to keep because it was his.
“Fine.” He finally admitted, as reluctant as that sounded, and the three of them huddled in the niche by the hallway as he slowly and carefully undid the ribbon and slid the soft fabric into his pocket, and opened the small box to find the usual chocolates along with... a piece of cloth?
“It’s a handkerchief.” Elida said as the boys looked baffled. She was the one who pulled it out to examine it. “Looks pretty sturdy. But also really big. Like it’s for an adult.”
“What,” Kai declared. “Is that.”
Elida huffed and rolled her eyes with a murmured ‘boys!’ under her breath before she folded the bright yellow fabric gently into a much smaller square. “Don’t you guys read stories? Guys give these things to girls when they’re crying or upset so they can wipe away their tears! It’s a gentlemanly thing to have.”
Hope just blinked. “I’m supposed to give it away to a girl?”
He didn’t want to do that. He had started to collect all the gifts from the mystery person that he could find, and had been keeping it all in a small box under his bed. Wouldn’t giving away his gift defeat the purpose?
“Well, you get it back!” Elida defended. “It shows that you care.”
“But if Hope’s the one getting the handkerchief or whatever...” Kai looked over at him speculatively, and Hope shook his head rapidly.
“I haven’t been crying! Why would I do that?”
The warning bell rang right then, startling the three of them and they bolted for class; each trying to get to their seats before the teachers could glare them into submission.
“I bet the secret admirer is Calum. He’s always giving Hope funny looks.” Kai muttered when he sat down, but was shushed vehemently by Elida.
Ten years old Hope figured it would be a good idea to get to school on Valentine’s Day earlier than anyone else, and had begged a ride from his mom long before he was supposed to even get up. This time, he wanted to grab the gift and shove it in his bag, and just pray his friends had forgotten entirely about the yearly gift he seemed to be receiving. The school hadn’t even been open when he got there, but Hope sat diligently at the front entrance, pulling out the little book of mythology he had gotten a few years ago. He didn’t often look at the book, but it was hard not to think about it on this day of the year.
If no one was at school yet, not even the teachers, then maybe he’d be able to find out who left him the gifts all the time. Of course there was the possibility that he might be disappointed to find out, or even that his Valentine might realize he was looking for them and not give the gift this year, but that was a chance Hope was willing to take.
He’d really rather not go through the knowing looks his friends had given him for several days past the event last year again.
A yawning teacher had looked confused to see him, but Hope begged his way into his classroom, satisfied with the knowledge that this time, he was earlier than even the rest of the students. This time he’d —
There was a large red box wrapped in a red velvet ribbon sitting on his desk when he charged in the door, and Hope wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed that he hadn’t managed to catch whoever was giving him the gifts. At least, he thought, it’d be enough that he’d be able to hide it and then the others wouldn’t be able to see it.
Until he noted the size of the box.
And despaired to realize he might have a hard time squeezing that into his backpack without anyone noticing.
He dropped his backpack to the side of his table and tugged hesitantly on the ribbon, lifting the lid of the box gingerly before peaking inside. Nestled inside was a miniature science kit resting comfortably amongst handfuls of different chocolates, and a note the size of a business card: the paper thick and expensive looking, and the font the same gold as before.
‘Looking for me is cheating!’
Hope huffed and eyed his surroundings suspiciously before finally closing the box and stuffing it into his bag with care, but not before taking out a handful of chocolates to share with his friends.
How did that person know? He was really starting to believe it could be his mom — she was the only one who knew he was coming to school early, anyway, and besides... she was magical like that.
“I’m starting to think,” Kai offered his (unasked for!) two gil when he spotted the red box peeking out from the edge of Hope’s bright backpack. The dark-haired boy was leaning casually over the side of his desk as Hope was pulling up his homework from the datalog he had been working on. “That maybe you should talk to someone about those gifts.”
“Why?” Hope questioned, although he was more focused on making sure he had uploaded his homework than on the Valentine’s Day gift.
“Think about it,” His best friend was saying, although his voice was lowered as to not draw attention from others chatting around them. “You’ve been getting these things for... what? Years? If it was any one of us, well, how would we have been able to do this years ago? We were all just brats back then, right?”
“What are you saying?” Hope intoned, although he had already considered all of this.
“It’s got to be someone older. Isn’t that... disturbing?”
“Maybe it was some kind of school thing.” Hope dismissed. He hated talking about this with his friends. Both Kai and Elida were far too concerned about the gifts. “It doesn’t have to be disturbing, you know.”
“School projects don’t last so many years.” Kai countered, looking truly concerned now. “C’mon, Hope. You’re smart — you should know that!”
It was going on six years now and it had only been this year that Hope had noticed how concerned his parents looked about the gifts. The year previous, he learned not to show it to them, if only because of the crease between his mom’s eyes and her forced smile as she smoothed down his hair and said that she was glad someone was taking notice of her brilliant child. Of course Hope had realized long ago that it couldn’t have been any of his classmates; he had been five when he received the first gift. What five year old gave out gifts like that?
“Look,” Hope interrupted, finally tearing his attention away from his homework assignment. “Elida was probably right, okay. It’s most likely my mom doing this, so can you please just stop — thinking about it? Talking about it? There’s nothing disturbing about that, right?”
“You mom looked pretty worried when I asked her about it.” Kai admitted quietly, and Hope rounded on him, suddenly much more irritated than his usual passive exasperation.
“You talked to my mom about this?” Hope hissed.
“Elida and I were worried!” Kai protested, not in the slightest bit intimidated by the silver-haired boy’s annoyance. “What if it’s some weird stalker? Or a pedophile. What then, Hope?”
“You’ve been watching way too many holovids — “
“Those things happen!” And suddenly, it was like the dark-haired boy managed to catch the attention of the entire class with his outburst, and Hope reddened as he realized that there were other eyes watching them and discreetly trying to listen into their conversation as Kai managed to be completely oblivious to it, voice almost as loud as Elida’s usual pitch. “We’re your friends, and we worry about you; especially if you’ve got some weird pedophile stalker after you — “
“Did you hear that? Hope’s got a pedophile stalker after him!”
The rest of the class dissolved into whispered and shocked gasps at that statement, ranging from concern to disbelief to one particular ‘oh please, if anyone in this class had a stalker, why would it be Hope?’ The boy in question was silently praying for the ground to open up and swallow him whole, and then maybe take Kai along with so that he could strangle the other boy in peace where they wouldn’t be gawped at by the rest of the class.
Kai hadn’t even noticed. “ — and you’re not even trying to discourage whoever it is! You won’t even tell us what’s in the boxes anymore. How are we supposed to react knowing that?”
“Maybe,” And Hope narrowed his eyes, feeling particularly vindictive after what Kai had told the entire class. “It’s because I already know who it is and it’s not some pedophile stalker, it’s actually just a friend and I don’t like broadcasting their identity just like you and Elida didn’t want to tell me that you were dating!”
Kai’s expression twisted between irritation, shock, outrage, and finally a resentful embarrassment as the class exploded into whispers again. The three of them weren’t particularly popular or even very well known, but that just meant there was little gossip to be gained on them while the rest of the class already knew everything about each other. Getting each little nugget of information, especially the ever popular ‘who was interested in who’ information on Valentine’s Day, sent them right into the center of attention.
Hope had to bite back an instinctive urge to apologize to his friend, holding on to the knowledge that Kai had been the first to blurt everything out to the entire class. At least, he thought with a vague satisfaction mixed with guilt, he managed to switch some of the attention from himself to Kai and Elida. It was their fault, anyway.
He pulled his backpack closer to his seat, guarding the bag from questions even as his thoughts wandered back to the snowglobe of a beautiful city he had never seen or heard of before, with multiple layers and an impressively elegant building in the very middle, looking futuristic and impossible.
Hope just shook his head and kept his mouth shut anytime someone tried to ask him anything, and watched as Kai was pelted with question after question regarding Elida and just what he was getting her for Valentine’s and what he was going to do for her romantically since the two were now going out and possibly involved in a relationship.
It was a good thing Elida was out sick for the day. She would have gotten into a lot of trouble for the fights she would have started had she been there.
By the time he was twelve, Hope had almost managed to... forget about the Valentine’s Day gift presents.
No, forget was too strong a word. But after both Kai and Elida had moved in the same year, things were just different. He found middle school to be a quieter experience after his friends left, even if Elida still called each week to enthusiastically regale him with her favourite songs and what she learned from her latest music tutor.
Twelve, Hope had decided early on, was a stupid age. It was a harsh age. With his dad’s new promotion in the Sanctum and his work taking him all the way to Eden daily now, his life was quieter leaving only him and his mom. He didn’t want to find new friends. He liked his old ones well enough and everyone else had just...
It felt like they had moved on without him, and Hope was stuck in the dust wondering just what it was he had missed. He had stuck with Kai and Elida all those years and had barely noticed the rest of his classmates, after all. Not only that, but for some reason it felt as if everyone suddenly had a plan for what it was they wanted to do when they grew up.
Everyone except for him.
It had been alright a few years to not know what he wanted to be, but with high school looming in the distance, everyone was so excited about the classes they wanted to take and the sports that they wanted to join. They had motivations and goals. Kai was already looking into volunteer opportunities at air hangers thanks to family friends, and Elida had her singing lessons...
With the amount of important people missing in his life, Hope had withdrawn into himself more, burying himself in schoolwork and the occasional trips out with his mom where he would stand around and fidget as she chatted to other adults and pulled him close to her to let other women coo over how much the two of them looked alike now that she had short hair as well and just how tall he was getting.
With the simplicity that his life had turned into... no, he hadn’t been expecting the bright red Valentine’s gift that year. It complicated things. Things like his life, probably.
Hope had sat down heavily on his seat and pulled the box off the desk and onto his lap, looking around to make sure that the few others in class weren’t paying any attention to him. Not that they normally did, anyway.
The gift felt nostalgic, and he found himself wondering why it was just Valentine’s Day. What about other holidays, or even his birthday? It was almost frustrating, to not know who was sending him these gifts, and with no way of — saying anything at all, really.
He opened the box carefully, tucking the red ribbon into his pockets before peering inside. The same chocolates, and this time... an art book?
No, he realized after he pulled it out, it was more a book on basic architecture. Designs and historical significances. It was weird, now that he thought about it. In-between the gifts, he had gotten a book on mythologies, a science kit, and now architecture?
At least, Hope thought as he pocketed several of the chocolates, the gift giver seemed to understand that Hope himself didn’t really have any set course for himself. Better to have multiple options than trying to send him on just one, right?
By the time he was thirteen, Hope had an extensive plan as to how he was going to catch his ‘secret admirer’ in the act of putting down a present. He had spent a week prior to the holiday building a rudimentary security camera, completely ignoring the warning he got years before about not looking for the gift giver. That hadn’t really been a warning, anyway. More of a taunt, really. Right?
Either way, it gave him something to work on and think about other than the fact that his mom seemed more and more wilted by the day the longer his dad stayed at work and forgetting all the promises that he had made to his family. He had begged his mom’s help in the project, and she relented easily enough even if she had misgivings about putting any type of surveillance equipment in the school.
“Wouldn’t you feel violated if you know one of the other students was doing it?” She asked him.
Hope had shrugged during the time, focused on wires and circuit boards. “I’m only keeping it there for a night, and people shouldn’t be there during the night, right? And it’s only going to be looking at my desk! Don’t you want to know, too?”
It had been exciting setting up the little camera as discreetly as possible after school as the students were leaving, under the guise of looking for something he had left in his desk and then fiddling around with his backpack. The other students had all been either excited or exasperated about Valentine’s Day and had gone home quickly.
What Hope knew was that somehow whoever left the gift got there earlier than any of the teachers did, and that it certainly hadn’t been there the day before... so it had to be some time in-between that, right?
Just a day, that’s all. He wasn’t going to have the camera there all the time or anything.
What Hope had failed to take into account the next day when he bounded excitedly for school, feeling an equal rush of dread and anticipation for the great reveal, was that whoever left him the gift would have seen the camera.
‘Good try.’ Was what he found on the thick white card in golden ink, and he could almost feel the patronizing smirk with the words. ‘Maybe you should get another hobby.’
The camera was gone and Hope nearly crumpled up the paper in disgust at his own failure before catching himself. As flattering as the gifts were every year, it was getting equally frustrating as well.
That year, he found a bunch of boomerang components within the gift and spent the next few months perfecting his aim, honing the talent his mom had cooed over when he was little. Maybe if he pretended his targets were all the things in his life that went wrong, then his days would flow a little better.
end part 1
Fandom: Final Fantasy XIII-2
Character/Pairing(s): ...Hope and IT'S A SECRET
Rating: PG
Warning: Wordy. I just rewrote Hope's life, part the first. (Thanks to Bekas for looking it over for me!)
Summary: Hope's got a secret admirer who only leaves presents on Valentine's Day.
When Hope was five, he found a box of chocolates waiting for him at his desk at school on Valentine's day as opposed to the mass of cards that would be handed out by everyone in class later in the day, all generic card-stock and with childish scribbles of 'Happy Valentine's!' written on it. The box was small and in the shape of a heart, wrapped in a soft, red velvet ribbon that loosened immediately when he tugged at the bow, eager to know what was inside. There was a golden 'Be mine?' inscription within, but no other indication of who it might have been from, and beautifully wrapped chocolates (they looked much better than the generic store brands that all the kids handed each other) inside.
Having satiated his curiosity, Hope had shut the box and shoved the entire thing in his bag right before the rest of his classmates started rushing into the room, excited by the prospect of sweets and gifts through the day, shouting greetings and dismayed whispered of not having done their homework because they had stayed up past their bedtime painstakingly writing out their cards.
Later when his mom came to pick him up, he brandished the box proudly, words falling over each other as he tried to describe just how excited he was about getting an 'actual present' for Valentine's, and eager to share half the box with her and his dad. Nora had looked shocked, and then skeptical, before she smiled widely and mock whispered to him that she had gotten Valentine chocolates as well, so if he shared half with her, then she would share half of hers with him.
At that age, Hope felt paranoid the rest of the day wondering just who was sending his mom Valentine chocolates and whether he had to fight them for her attention, not knowing that she felt just as paranoid to know her five year old son was getting expensive chocolates as well (she also tested half of each chocolate before letting her baby have the other half).
It was more of a pleasant, but still exciting, surprise to find another gift when he was six. This time it was a box, identifiable only because it was wrapped with the same red velvet ribbon that Hope had thought to keep from the year before.
The young boy sat down at his desk, baffled for a moment, before slowly pulling the knot apart and lifting up the lid, peeking inside to see a handful of store chocolates and a small modeling kit he had been discretely eying for the past few weeks in shop windows. It was, he thought excitedly as he pulled out the kit to examine the packaging and then tear into it, much more exciting than a handful of cards and some sweets.
(That night after he told his parents about the present and went to bed, Nora and Bartholomew had a serious discussion on whether the gifts were a problem or not.)
When Hope was seven, Kai managed to find his gift while going through his bag in search of a replacement pencil.
“What’s this?” The other boy asked curiously, inciting both Hope and Elida’s attention as he pulled out the small box, shaking it around to hear the rattle of chocolates and a small children’s book that barely fit inside about mythology. “Did you get a present from a girl, Hope?”
The way he mentioned girl made Elida huff and cross her arms, “And what does that mean, Kai? Huh?”
“Girls are gross.” Was the dark-haired boy’s explanation, entirely casual as he nodded to her. “Except for you, of course.”
The girl in question calmed a little, although she still looked irritated.
“It’s just a present.” Hope explained when Kai handed the box over to him, fingering the red ribbon. “I’ve been getting them for the past few years.”
“Maybe it’s from your parents.” Elida suggested, also reaching a hand to tug at the ribbon. Hope was used to her prodding and didn’t move away. “I’ve heard stories like that! And you have the nicest parents.”
“Maybe.” Hope admitted reluctantly, although he didn’t think so. “I thought it might have been from you guys.”
Elida and Kai looked at each other, but then shook their heads in unison.
“Nuh-uh.” Kai said. “I only give those stupid cards because I have to. Valentine’s is weird, dude.”
“I get presents.” Elida said haughtily, shaking out her hair. “I don’t have enough of an allowance to give them. Sorry, Hope.”
The white-haired boy shook his head. “It’s okay. It’s just a mystery to be solved, then.”
After sharing the chocolates from the box, the three of them mostly forgot about the matter.
Valentine’s Day at eight years old had started off rather disappointing, especially when Hope had wheedled his parents into letting him go to school early only to find that he still wasn’t the first one to get to class. There were several girls there already, standing on chairs to put up decorations and giggling at each other as they left neat little packages on the desk of boys they liked. They had all frozen up when he entered the room, looking guilty but then annoyed to see him.
One of the girls, a little blonde with pigtails, had pointed at him and wailed, “He’s going to ruin all our plans and tell everyone!”
Hope had backpedalled out of the room with apologies on his lips as the group of girls started pelting paper decorations at him, demanding that he get out and that if he ever told anyone about the surprise they were leaving for the cutest boys in class, they were going to skin him alive.
Later on in the day, Elida managed to bully the truth out of Hope about how he was so down on the day when he was usually happiest, and she went on to yell at the group of girls (right in front of the boys they liked) about how they were heartless harpies while Kai menacingly (or not so menacingly since he and Hope weren’t exactly the biggest kids in class) blocked the exits so that the other children couldn’t get out until she was done and so no teachers would be able to hear the little spiel, either. She managed to pull out a list (an actual list she had printed out!) to read all the negative traits those girls out, from little things to big things, until she had all the girls in tears and the guys shrinking back in their seats.
The girls later told the teachers on Elida anyway, but all she got was a light scolding since she hadn’t actually started a fistfight, and the teachers only hadn’t actually seen the incident and only had the words of several hysterical girls to go on.
Right as Hope was going to leave school that day, still slightly disappointed no matter how grateful he was for his friends, Kai had run up to him and shoved a box into his hands, the white casing dirty and a familiar red ribbon wrapped around it. Hope had accepted the gift with wide eyes.
“Elida found it,” his friend explained excitedly. “Emily was wearing that ribbon as a hair tie, and, well, you know Elida! She’s loud and screechy, but pretty amazing, since she got Emily to confess about just what they did to your present and give back the bow, too. But, uh... they took all the chocolates. Gave it all away, apparently, and then threw the box away. So it’s empty, but we thought you might like to have it, anyway.”
Inside the dirtied box was once again a golden script. ‘For Hope’ it said. ‘Things will be better, I promise. Happy Valentine’s Day.’
Hope reached to give his best friend a hug and babbling his thanks while Kai patted his back awkwardly, and the white-haired boy made a mental note to give Elida a fantastic White Day gift somehow.
(He didn’t manage to get her that White Day gift since only days prior to the holiday, the three of them managed to get lost in the Sunleth Waterscape and had subsequently gotten too ill to go to school for a week, but Hope did manage to pitch in with Kai to get her a new home karaoke machine for her birthday that year.)
That night, his mom helped him clean off the box with a warm towel while his dad went to the store and bought extra chocolates to put in the box for when Hope woke up the next morning.
“It’s okay,” Nora soothed as she and her son wiped away at the grime that was covering the fragile box. “We’ll do Valentine’s Day tomorrow instead. That means today wasn’t Valentine’s, so the gift isn’t late after all.”
At nine, Hope had barely managed to sit down at his desk before Elida came up smugly to drop a wrapped box on his desk.
“I got here first.” She explained. “And made sure no one could get to it this time.”
As if a switch had been flipped, she suddenly leaned over, looking far too excited. “Open it, open it! I want to see what’s inside this year.”
Hope had to lean back away from the girl, now half a head taller than he was and dressed in things like miniskirts because she was convinced she could meet an entertainer who would take notice of her talents any day now, almost afraid that she would snatch the gift out of his hands and maybe take his arms with her if he didn’t comply as fast as she liked.
“It’s just chocolates.” He responded, feeling small under her amount of enthusiasm, although his fingers were already playing with the soft velvet of the ribbon. “There’s not always something else in there.”
“Hope Estheim,” Elida nearly shrieked. “I got here earlier than I normally wake up just to make sure you got your Valentine’s from your secret admirer without anyone else stealing it, and I want to know what you got this year when you told me before this person’s been giving you presents for over three years already!”
The few other children in class all stopped their conversations to stare at them, and Hope squirmed lower in his seat at the attention (and just maybe, the seething fury of his best friend).
“You said it was probably my parents.” He nearly squeaked out, avoiding everyone’s curious eyes. He flushed red at the realization of how that must have sounded, but then decided to press on. “It’s most likely not a secret admirer at all.”
“Nuh-uh.” The girl intoned proudly. “I asked your parents about it, and your mom told me straight out that they weren’t the ones sending it.”
Well, that was one mystery solved, especially since Hope had never wanted to confront his parents about Valentine’s, half afraid of the answer and half because he was just embarrassed at how his mom smirked at him and how worried she would look afterward. It was probably better that Elida had been the one to demand answers, since she was very good at that; so good that no one seemed to be able to tell her no, unless their name was Kai and he happened to be mad at her.
It was the outbreak of hushed whispers that only children could manage that had him trying to hide his face... and the box. And it was only then that Elida even realized they were being watched, and she stood up straight again with a defiant glare and her hands on her hips, looking both stern and rather bossy.
“And the rest of you can mind your own business!” She told them, watching intently until each kid went back to whatever it was they had been doing before.
“Elida...” Hope pleaded, knowing it was useless to reason with the girl who wanted to be a diva. She certainly already had the traits for the job.
“C’mon.” She grabbed a hold of his wrist and dragged him up and out of his chair, pulling him along as she huffed and left the room behind, and not stopping until they were halfway done the hall away from other classes as well, before spinning to face him. “You know, you usually don’t really care about things like this. You’re always so sharing... and now you’re all tied up in knots over this thing. What gives?”
Hope shrugged, trying to act as casual about it as possible, even with his cheeks still flushed. It was a different feeling, and he didn’t quite like it. “I just didn’t want everyone else to see. It’s... it’s mine, you know? Like a secret, or a mystery.”
Elida stared at him for a few moments before she started snickering under a hand. “—-You’re such an only child. ‘I don’t want to share!’”
Her high pitched imitation of his voice turned his ears red. “You’re an only child, too!”
“What are you guys even doing out here?” Came a voice from behind them. “Class starts in a few minutes, you know!”
“Kai!” Elida was delighted as she waved him over, making shushing noises like it was a grand secret. “Hope got a gift from his secret admirer again.”
The dark-haired boy came closer easily enough, hands still looped through his backpack straps. “I hope it’s not Liza — no offense, Hope, but she’s way too weird.”
“It can’t be Liza.” Elida declared for him. “He’s been getting these forever. She’s only moved here last year. And she never gets anyone Valentines, anyway. I heard she won’t get them for anyone until they get one for her first.”
“Think it’s Mami?” Kai asked, and Hope felt his temper flare up for just a moment.
“Guys!” He nearly shouted just to get their attention away from gossip. “Can we not, really?”
“Don’t you want to know, though?” Elida insisted. “You’ve been getting them forever, right? You’ve got to find out sometime!”
“And I’m sure I will.” Hope said, not backing down. “But it doesn’t matter right now, right? It’s my mystery, so can’t it stay that way?”
The other two children quieted down, although it was easy to tell they were still sulking. Elida sniffed, turning her head up as if she hadn’t just been gossiping about Hope’s potential secret admirer, and then returned to the original subject in hand. “Fine. I won’t say any more on it if you open that present right now and let me see what’s in it.”
Hope didn’t really want to, but he also couldn’t think of a reason why he shouldn’t. Maybe Elida had been right, and there was some selfish want to keep the present his secret only, but despite what she said about him being an only child, Hope had always been the sharing kind. He didn’t understand it himself, really, but this was just one thing he wanted to keep because it was his.
“Fine.” He finally admitted, as reluctant as that sounded, and the three of them huddled in the niche by the hallway as he slowly and carefully undid the ribbon and slid the soft fabric into his pocket, and opened the small box to find the usual chocolates along with... a piece of cloth?
“It’s a handkerchief.” Elida said as the boys looked baffled. She was the one who pulled it out to examine it. “Looks pretty sturdy. But also really big. Like it’s for an adult.”
“What,” Kai declared. “Is that.”
Elida huffed and rolled her eyes with a murmured ‘boys!’ under her breath before she folded the bright yellow fabric gently into a much smaller square. “Don’t you guys read stories? Guys give these things to girls when they’re crying or upset so they can wipe away their tears! It’s a gentlemanly thing to have.”
Hope just blinked. “I’m supposed to give it away to a girl?”
He didn’t want to do that. He had started to collect all the gifts from the mystery person that he could find, and had been keeping it all in a small box under his bed. Wouldn’t giving away his gift defeat the purpose?
“Well, you get it back!” Elida defended. “It shows that you care.”
“But if Hope’s the one getting the handkerchief or whatever...” Kai looked over at him speculatively, and Hope shook his head rapidly.
“I haven’t been crying! Why would I do that?”
The warning bell rang right then, startling the three of them and they bolted for class; each trying to get to their seats before the teachers could glare them into submission.
“I bet the secret admirer is Calum. He’s always giving Hope funny looks.” Kai muttered when he sat down, but was shushed vehemently by Elida.
Ten years old Hope figured it would be a good idea to get to school on Valentine’s Day earlier than anyone else, and had begged a ride from his mom long before he was supposed to even get up. This time, he wanted to grab the gift and shove it in his bag, and just pray his friends had forgotten entirely about the yearly gift he seemed to be receiving. The school hadn’t even been open when he got there, but Hope sat diligently at the front entrance, pulling out the little book of mythology he had gotten a few years ago. He didn’t often look at the book, but it was hard not to think about it on this day of the year.
If no one was at school yet, not even the teachers, then maybe he’d be able to find out who left him the gifts all the time. Of course there was the possibility that he might be disappointed to find out, or even that his Valentine might realize he was looking for them and not give the gift this year, but that was a chance Hope was willing to take.
He’d really rather not go through the knowing looks his friends had given him for several days past the event last year again.
A yawning teacher had looked confused to see him, but Hope begged his way into his classroom, satisfied with the knowledge that this time, he was earlier than even the rest of the students. This time he’d —
There was a large red box wrapped in a red velvet ribbon sitting on his desk when he charged in the door, and Hope wasn’t sure whether to feel relieved or disappointed that he hadn’t managed to catch whoever was giving him the gifts. At least, he thought, it’d be enough that he’d be able to hide it and then the others wouldn’t be able to see it.
Until he noted the size of the box.
And despaired to realize he might have a hard time squeezing that into his backpack without anyone noticing.
He dropped his backpack to the side of his table and tugged hesitantly on the ribbon, lifting the lid of the box gingerly before peaking inside. Nestled inside was a miniature science kit resting comfortably amongst handfuls of different chocolates, and a note the size of a business card: the paper thick and expensive looking, and the font the same gold as before.
‘Looking for me is cheating!’
Hope huffed and eyed his surroundings suspiciously before finally closing the box and stuffing it into his bag with care, but not before taking out a handful of chocolates to share with his friends.
How did that person know? He was really starting to believe it could be his mom — she was the only one who knew he was coming to school early, anyway, and besides... she was magical like that.
“I’m starting to think,” Kai offered his (unasked for!) two gil when he spotted the red box peeking out from the edge of Hope’s bright backpack. The dark-haired boy was leaning casually over the side of his desk as Hope was pulling up his homework from the datalog he had been working on. “That maybe you should talk to someone about those gifts.”
“Why?” Hope questioned, although he was more focused on making sure he had uploaded his homework than on the Valentine’s Day gift.
“Think about it,” His best friend was saying, although his voice was lowered as to not draw attention from others chatting around them. “You’ve been getting these things for... what? Years? If it was any one of us, well, how would we have been able to do this years ago? We were all just brats back then, right?”
“What are you saying?” Hope intoned, although he had already considered all of this.
“It’s got to be someone older. Isn’t that... disturbing?”
“Maybe it was some kind of school thing.” Hope dismissed. He hated talking about this with his friends. Both Kai and Elida were far too concerned about the gifts. “It doesn’t have to be disturbing, you know.”
“School projects don’t last so many years.” Kai countered, looking truly concerned now. “C’mon, Hope. You’re smart — you should know that!”
It was going on six years now and it had only been this year that Hope had noticed how concerned his parents looked about the gifts. The year previous, he learned not to show it to them, if only because of the crease between his mom’s eyes and her forced smile as she smoothed down his hair and said that she was glad someone was taking notice of her brilliant child. Of course Hope had realized long ago that it couldn’t have been any of his classmates; he had been five when he received the first gift. What five year old gave out gifts like that?
“Look,” Hope interrupted, finally tearing his attention away from his homework assignment. “Elida was probably right, okay. It’s most likely my mom doing this, so can you please just stop — thinking about it? Talking about it? There’s nothing disturbing about that, right?”
“You mom looked pretty worried when I asked her about it.” Kai admitted quietly, and Hope rounded on him, suddenly much more irritated than his usual passive exasperation.
“You talked to my mom about this?” Hope hissed.
“Elida and I were worried!” Kai protested, not in the slightest bit intimidated by the silver-haired boy’s annoyance. “What if it’s some weird stalker? Or a pedophile. What then, Hope?”
“You’ve been watching way too many holovids — “
“Those things happen!” And suddenly, it was like the dark-haired boy managed to catch the attention of the entire class with his outburst, and Hope reddened as he realized that there were other eyes watching them and discreetly trying to listen into their conversation as Kai managed to be completely oblivious to it, voice almost as loud as Elida’s usual pitch. “We’re your friends, and we worry about you; especially if you’ve got some weird pedophile stalker after you — “
“Did you hear that? Hope’s got a pedophile stalker after him!”
The rest of the class dissolved into whispered and shocked gasps at that statement, ranging from concern to disbelief to one particular ‘oh please, if anyone in this class had a stalker, why would it be Hope?’ The boy in question was silently praying for the ground to open up and swallow him whole, and then maybe take Kai along with so that he could strangle the other boy in peace where they wouldn’t be gawped at by the rest of the class.
Kai hadn’t even noticed. “ — and you’re not even trying to discourage whoever it is! You won’t even tell us what’s in the boxes anymore. How are we supposed to react knowing that?”
“Maybe,” And Hope narrowed his eyes, feeling particularly vindictive after what Kai had told the entire class. “It’s because I already know who it is and it’s not some pedophile stalker, it’s actually just a friend and I don’t like broadcasting their identity just like you and Elida didn’t want to tell me that you were dating!”
Kai’s expression twisted between irritation, shock, outrage, and finally a resentful embarrassment as the class exploded into whispers again. The three of them weren’t particularly popular or even very well known, but that just meant there was little gossip to be gained on them while the rest of the class already knew everything about each other. Getting each little nugget of information, especially the ever popular ‘who was interested in who’ information on Valentine’s Day, sent them right into the center of attention.
Hope had to bite back an instinctive urge to apologize to his friend, holding on to the knowledge that Kai had been the first to blurt everything out to the entire class. At least, he thought with a vague satisfaction mixed with guilt, he managed to switch some of the attention from himself to Kai and Elida. It was their fault, anyway.
He pulled his backpack closer to his seat, guarding the bag from questions even as his thoughts wandered back to the snowglobe of a beautiful city he had never seen or heard of before, with multiple layers and an impressively elegant building in the very middle, looking futuristic and impossible.
Hope just shook his head and kept his mouth shut anytime someone tried to ask him anything, and watched as Kai was pelted with question after question regarding Elida and just what he was getting her for Valentine’s and what he was going to do for her romantically since the two were now going out and possibly involved in a relationship.
It was a good thing Elida was out sick for the day. She would have gotten into a lot of trouble for the fights she would have started had she been there.
By the time he was twelve, Hope had almost managed to... forget about the Valentine’s Day gift presents.
No, forget was too strong a word. But after both Kai and Elida had moved in the same year, things were just different. He found middle school to be a quieter experience after his friends left, even if Elida still called each week to enthusiastically regale him with her favourite songs and what she learned from her latest music tutor.
Twelve, Hope had decided early on, was a stupid age. It was a harsh age. With his dad’s new promotion in the Sanctum and his work taking him all the way to Eden daily now, his life was quieter leaving only him and his mom. He didn’t want to find new friends. He liked his old ones well enough and everyone else had just...
It felt like they had moved on without him, and Hope was stuck in the dust wondering just what it was he had missed. He had stuck with Kai and Elida all those years and had barely noticed the rest of his classmates, after all. Not only that, but for some reason it felt as if everyone suddenly had a plan for what it was they wanted to do when they grew up.
Everyone except for him.
It had been alright a few years to not know what he wanted to be, but with high school looming in the distance, everyone was so excited about the classes they wanted to take and the sports that they wanted to join. They had motivations and goals. Kai was already looking into volunteer opportunities at air hangers thanks to family friends, and Elida had her singing lessons...
With the amount of important people missing in his life, Hope had withdrawn into himself more, burying himself in schoolwork and the occasional trips out with his mom where he would stand around and fidget as she chatted to other adults and pulled him close to her to let other women coo over how much the two of them looked alike now that she had short hair as well and just how tall he was getting.
With the simplicity that his life had turned into... no, he hadn’t been expecting the bright red Valentine’s gift that year. It complicated things. Things like his life, probably.
Hope had sat down heavily on his seat and pulled the box off the desk and onto his lap, looking around to make sure that the few others in class weren’t paying any attention to him. Not that they normally did, anyway.
The gift felt nostalgic, and he found himself wondering why it was just Valentine’s Day. What about other holidays, or even his birthday? It was almost frustrating, to not know who was sending him these gifts, and with no way of — saying anything at all, really.
He opened the box carefully, tucking the red ribbon into his pockets before peering inside. The same chocolates, and this time... an art book?
No, he realized after he pulled it out, it was more a book on basic architecture. Designs and historical significances. It was weird, now that he thought about it. In-between the gifts, he had gotten a book on mythologies, a science kit, and now architecture?
At least, Hope thought as he pocketed several of the chocolates, the gift giver seemed to understand that Hope himself didn’t really have any set course for himself. Better to have multiple options than trying to send him on just one, right?
By the time he was thirteen, Hope had an extensive plan as to how he was going to catch his ‘secret admirer’ in the act of putting down a present. He had spent a week prior to the holiday building a rudimentary security camera, completely ignoring the warning he got years before about not looking for the gift giver. That hadn’t really been a warning, anyway. More of a taunt, really. Right?
Either way, it gave him something to work on and think about other than the fact that his mom seemed more and more wilted by the day the longer his dad stayed at work and forgetting all the promises that he had made to his family. He had begged his mom’s help in the project, and she relented easily enough even if she had misgivings about putting any type of surveillance equipment in the school.
“Wouldn’t you feel violated if you know one of the other students was doing it?” She asked him.
Hope had shrugged during the time, focused on wires and circuit boards. “I’m only keeping it there for a night, and people shouldn’t be there during the night, right? And it’s only going to be looking at my desk! Don’t you want to know, too?”
It had been exciting setting up the little camera as discreetly as possible after school as the students were leaving, under the guise of looking for something he had left in his desk and then fiddling around with his backpack. The other students had all been either excited or exasperated about Valentine’s Day and had gone home quickly.
What Hope knew was that somehow whoever left the gift got there earlier than any of the teachers did, and that it certainly hadn’t been there the day before... so it had to be some time in-between that, right?
Just a day, that’s all. He wasn’t going to have the camera there all the time or anything.
What Hope had failed to take into account the next day when he bounded excitedly for school, feeling an equal rush of dread and anticipation for the great reveal, was that whoever left him the gift would have seen the camera.
‘Good try.’ Was what he found on the thick white card in golden ink, and he could almost feel the patronizing smirk with the words. ‘Maybe you should get another hobby.’
The camera was gone and Hope nearly crumpled up the paper in disgust at his own failure before catching himself. As flattering as the gifts were every year, it was getting equally frustrating as well.
That year, he found a bunch of boomerang components within the gift and spent the next few months perfecting his aim, honing the talent his mom had cooed over when he was little. Maybe if he pretended his targets were all the things in his life that went wrong, then his days would flow a little better.
end part 1