NaNo2014 day 25

[shamera]

The phone number Hope had been given connected easily enough, but the ringing continued for a minute before Hope hung up again, frowning. He shook his head a negative to Noel when the young man perked up, and then tried again.

Once again, the call connected but did nothing but ring.

“Maybe she’s not at the phone.” Hope suggested lightly after three more calls throughout the hour didn’t go through. “She could be doing something else right now.”

He used to have a habit of turning off his comms, although those were usually while he was in a meeting back in Academia, and then Alyssa tended to handle his calls and filtering through what needed responses and what didn’t.

“We could try again later.” Hope suggested, although he had an uneasy feeling. For someone who could see the future, wouldn’t Yeul have known that he was going to call? But then again, one call must be insignificant against the rest of history and large decisions that would impact mankind for centuries on end. It would be arrogant of him to assume his call was that important.

“Yeah.” Noel’s response was just as uneasy, although the brunet straightened up after that, determined to push the matter out of the way for now. “What else do you need done right now?”

“Uhh…” Hope looked around at the lab, and then shook his head. There was nothing of urgency at the moment, and still several things he needed before he could truly continue with his experiments. He had several letters to send, but that wasn’t something he felt the other man would want to sit through at the moment. Hope could send the messages at a later time, although he didn’t want to put it off for too long. “There’s nothing urgent right now.”

Had he been back at the Academy, Hope could have always found something else to busy himself with. At the moment, though, he had limited options and limited technology for what he wanted to do. The most urgent matters would likely be the kidnappers that Lightning and the Guardian Corps were taking care of, or the decision that his father gave him. Perhaps figuring out a direction for himself soon as well, seeing as he wanted to give Vanille a solid answer some time soon the next time she asked what she could do to help.

He thought for a moment, wondering if it was a bad idea… “We could go looking for the kidnappers.”

They couldn’t be that low-profile, after all. He had seen their statements on television, or at least he thought that was the same group. A group of young people backed up by the Sanctum that might be close to the settlement? It couldn’t be that hard to find them. Even Rygdea had more than a few leads to start out with.

“No.” Noel’s answer was quick, surprising Hope. “That’s just looking for trouble. You’re supposed to be keeping safe.”

It was reminiscent of the words Noel told him back in 400AF, and Hope bit his lip. Maybe it was because he had several months to recover from the memories of dying, but it didn’t feel as sharp anymore. At least, the nightmares had long faded and what seemed more prominent on his mind was the actual kidnapping.

“Fine.” Hope admitted, drumming his fingers on the table. He tapped at his main computer terminal, bringing up several programs that he rerouted recently, typing in several commands. Several commands later, he used his phone to hook up to the communications mainframe. “I’ll have this continue calling every half hour, and if the call goes through, then I’ll get it on my phone.”

He disconnected his phone after that, nodding in satisfaction. That would take care of one angle.

“Why don’t we get you acquainted with the settlement?” Hope asked, slipping his phone into his pocket. “That way, you know your way around here. It’s nothing like Academia right now. A lot of the streets are being replaced, and the permanent ones are just being put in, so this place changes almost every week.”

Noel looked like he was considering it. He finally nodded slowly. “...Alright.”

Hope turned off the rest of his monitors and machines, wrapping up his scarf and pulling on his outer jacket once again. Noel had been given an all new wardrobe as well on the day everyone had been there, and Hope couldn’t help but glance up at the knit wooly pom-poms dangling from Noel’s hat, biting his lip to prevent a smile. Serah must have gotten that for him and insisted that he wear it, but the addition to his attire, the rest of which was more somber and just suited for the weather rather than for fashion, somehow made Noel look the teenager he was.

“What?” Noel asked curiously, noting Hope’s look.

“Nothing.” Hope responded quickly, shaking his head. He pulled his tote bag over his head, dragging along the tablet that kept track of his work progress. “Okay. Where should we start?”

The next two hours had them travelling all over the growing city, from the back alleys to the prominent buildings which signalled where all the permanent structures would be put. So far, the settlements had a tall hospital and city hall, two buildings for schools, and Guardian Corps headquarters within the settlement, and the new buildings which were still being touched upon that held the new technology for power and water. The people of Cocoon had spent so long relying on the fal’Cie for power that the concept for farming power for themselves was both and entirely new and too-old concept.

There were still large plots of land that weren’t being used, and the residential areas were being built as well, complexes and housing units that would be more separate and more comfortable than what was provided for the people in the temporary housing. Hope looked for the place he had settled into in the first timeline, an unsuspecting unit at the very edge of the settlement closer to the Guardian Corps which Bartholomew had beefed up the security for. It wasn’t entirely done yet, but the outer shape and structure was already in place. It looked like it would be merely weeks before the place was finished.

That would be how long he had to decide whether he wanted to follow the original timeline or deviate from it completely, then.

“And what about there?” Noel pointed in the direction where the Academy building had once been for the both of them. There were several buildings on that land, but Hope only shook his head.

“That place is going to be demolished and built over.” He explained. “There were a lot of temporary structures set up when people first started settling on Gran Pulse. A lot of homes in Cocoon were completely destroyed, and the land unusable. People needed land to settle on, and Pulse is abundant in land if nothing else. It started with tents and trailers, but soon the government set up structures that would be able to tide people over until more permanent buildings could be put up. That’s a part of it, and so’s the building that we’re in right now.”

Noel made a sound of acknowledgement, squinting over at the land where the Academy was to be built, squinting just slightly as the sun started hovering over the edge of the horizon. “...I thought that looked a bit shabby.”

Hope shrugged, smiling. “It’s not so bad. Might not look like much compared to the future, but it’s just the start of it.”

They wandered around the streets for a bit longer, enjoying the rest of the sunlight as Hope pulled his hat lower over his face again when someone looked in his direction. He looked down at the ground, a mixture of pavement and mud at the moment depending on what street they were on, and couldn’t wait for things to change for the better. It was easier this time, knowing that it would be better.

But did he want to keep going down the same path, or go on a different one? This was a guaranteed success, but moving to New Bodhum…

No. He wasn’t that important in the scheme of things. Where he grew up should matter. If mankind was going to be more accepting in the future, then they would be more accepting in the future no matter what path Hope decided to take. That much he believed in.

“Hey, Noel?” Hope asked as they both ended up sitting at the top of the temporary storage buildings currently in place what would be the Academy headquarters in the future. The building was five stories high, and it had been a bit of a pain getting to the roof, but the view was rather nice. The sun was already starting to set despite how early it was in the day still, and it was cold enough that Hope could see the lightest of breaths in front of himself, but at least it had stopped raining for the day, and the slanted roofs were dry thanks to the sunlight that day.

The hunter made a noise in acknowledgement, having laid down on the roof staring up at the sky with his arms under his head. Hope sat a little ways away, bracing himself with his arms and swinging his legs over the edge of the roof. They were high enough that no one should be looking up at them.

Hope looked up as well, watching the thin white clouds pass by slowly overhead.

“...How do you access your magic?”

Noel turned his head to look at him, curious for a moment. “...By using magic? I don’t know, why?”

Hope didn’t meet his eyes, instead continuing to gaze up at the sky, although he wasn’t quite looking for anything in specific. He used to be a magic user. He used to be good at it. Good enough for the others to rely on him for support, for back-up, for healing and defense and magical offense. Hope had never been very good at fighting physically, although he made sure to be able to hold his own when he grew up. He was decently fast, and took pride in his aim.

But the thing was, he never found anything else he was as good at after magic. He worked hard at everything else, struggled immensely through studying and practice and repeated actions. He was well aware that he would never be as good a fighter as Lightning or Fang, or even Snow for that matter. But his magic had been instinctual once upon a time. If there was a single good thing about being a l’Cie, it might have been the magic. It had been the first time in his life Hope felt powerful in one aspect.

Losing it had been a joy at first because it meant losing everything else that came with being a l’Cie, or more specifically the timer counting down on his life.

But as time went on and others began developing magic, Hope had often wondered just what was wrong with him that he couldn’t weave fire around his fingers again. When no one else could use it, he had been content without it. But knowing that others could use it, and bearing the knowledge that he had once been so good at it…

He wondered if he was being power-hungry. But the feeling of ice over his skin had been a welcome relief in contrast to the helplessness when he had been trapped down in that well. As cold as it had been, as cold as he had been, it was the sweetest feeling he had in a while.

He stopped swinging his legs.

“I think I lost mine.” Hope admitted. “I don’t think I have magic without being a l’Cie.”

It was the first time he admitted that aloud. Before, he had always taken it in stride and tried not to let it bother him.

“What do you mean?” Noel asked curiously. “I’ve seen you use magic. Or manadrives? Sorry, I didn’t think you were using a manadrive. Not entirely sure how those work and all…”

“I wasn’t.” Hope confirmed. “I don’t use those.”

Mostly because it was a weak imitation compared to the power he used to wield.

Noel shifted. “You threw ice at that guy.”

The night of the kidnapping. Hope nodded, his eyes still focused on the sky. “That’s why I wanted to ask you. About magic, I mean. I was sure that I lost mine, and I could never get it back while I was growing up. It just— never came back to me. But maybe I’ve been doing it wrong. It worked again two nights ago, but I don’t know why. And I can’t seem to reproduce the results.”

He spent countless quiet minutes in his room attempting to call upon his magic again. Any spell. Anything at all that would indicate he still had access to the part of him that once made him feel confident in his own abilities.

“What, you think you’ve been doing it wrong all this time?” Noel hummed thoughtfully. “I don’t know. I don’t know how it feels like to use magic as a l’Cie. I mean, I just do. I kind of grew up with it. You could either use magic or you couldn’t, and there wasn’t any, I don’t know, any in-between. I never really thought about it.”

The uncertainty seemed unusual coming from Noel, and Hope breathed out a long breath, finally tearing his gaze from the sky. “It was just a long shot, I guess.”

“Maybe you should ask Snow.” Noel suggested. “He had to become a l’Cie to get his magic back again, right? So he’d know something about it.”

Hope didn’t think so. If he couldn’t feel the magic, he doubted the Snow would have been able to either. Likely, the blond needed the l’Cie brand not just for magic, but for the enhanced strength provided to l’Cie, and the ability to bypass what seemed impossible.

He wondered if Fang and Vanille still had access to their magic. If they did, they never showed it or even spoke about it, which would have been unusual since he and Vanille conversed greatly on the subject of magic.

The only person he knew for sure retained their ability to do magic had been Serah. But how?

Serah hadn’t gone on the same journey they had; she likely hadn’t battled with her magic to develop it, or trained it to take down monsters that she would have otherwise been unable to defeat. Yet she retained her magic while the other l’Cie all seemed to have lost theirs. Why?

Hope’s theory had been because Serah never learned to use magic like the rest of them. The other Pulse l’Cie had trained themselves to use magic in battle, to provide and heal and strengthen themselves. They had all immersed themselves in their l’Cie magic, even Fang and Snow who relied little on it. But Serah had never been in the same battles while she was a l’Cie. Could it have been that the magic did stay with them, but changed form after they lost their brand?

He tried studying it before, just a little, claiming a side hobby in the Academy. But even in the future, no one quite understood just where the magic came from.

But if the l’Cie had trained themselves to interact with magic a certain way, it could mean that it would be harder for them to access the magic that came after the Fall, since they were so accustomed to their l’Cie battle magic. If Hope did still have his magical reserves, then he would automatically reach for it the same way he had while he was a l’Cie, and if that path was blocked, then it could be possible he just assumed he lost the ability.

What if all the former l’Cie had access to their magic, but just never knew?

“I don’t think Snow would know.” Hope admitted. If anyone, he would have to ask Serah, but she would be in the same boat as Noel. She might not know just how to felt to cast magic as a l’Cie, and therefore be unable to tell the differences necessary to cast now.

He stretched out a hand against the sky, grasping at the clouds.

“I was sure I lost my magic.” He whispered to himself.

“Well,” Noel said next to him. “I don’t think you did.”

The young man sat up, stretching his arms over his head for a moment before getting into a crouch next to Hope.

“I think you might just need some practice. I saw you using magic. You didn’t lose it, Hope.”

Hope nodded slowly. “I’ll work on it.”

“That’s the spirit.” The young man said cheerfully, reaching punch Hope’s shoulder lightly. “I’ll help if I can. Not sure how I can describe reaching for magic, but hey, if you’re going to try then I’ll try, too.”

Hope smiled. “Thanks, Noel.”

He was about to say more, but was interrupted by his phone ringing in his pocket. Hope blinked, and the reached to grab at it, wondering just who was calling this time. Lightning usually reserved her calls for later in the evening, and he already spoke to Vanille that day, so…

“Hello?” He asked, phone against his ear. “Who’s this?”

There was breathing on the other side for a long moment, steady and strong, before a familiar deep voice answered him. “You called.”

Caius.

Hope scrambled up from his perch on the edge of the roof, and Noel reached out a hand in case he lost his balance. “Yes. I have — Noel’s here. We need to talk to Yeul.”

He wasn’t sure how to feel about speaking to Caius of all people, especially knowing that it had been Caius who fought against Lightning in Valhalla, and who was trying to end the world. It was strange knowing that Noel and Serah had been fighting against Caius in the timelines they went to in the future, but here the man was now, sounding almost cordial on the phone.

There was another pause.

“I’m afraid that won’t be possible at the moment.” Caius told him, and Hope detected something dark about his tone that had nothing to do with the breathy manner he spoke in the first place. “She left you what she could, and you’re not to contact her again.”

“Why not?” Hope demanded. “She’s the one who left me with this number. Why are you answering for her?”

Noel was making wide gestures from the side, likely asking what was actually going on, but Hope only shook his head at the moment.

“She entrusted you with a task. Are you close to completing it?”

“She wasn’t very specific.” Hope insisted. “I don’t even know where to start. She would, though. If I could just talk with her, then I might be able to get it done faster.”

“Damn it, Caius,” Noel finally spoke up next to him, having figured out who was on the other side of the line. “Let me speak to Yeul!”

Caius laughed darkly from the other side of the phone. “Perhaps you should give the phone to your… companion.”

Wordlessly, Hope handed over his phone to Noel, who snatched it up. It didn’t matter who got answers, so long as they got answers. And if Noel was the one that Caius would allow to speak to Yeul, then it was just as well. Hope didn’t mind having to speak through the other man.

“Caius.” Noel’s tone was just as dark, although with more familiarity than Hope expected. “Why won’t you let me talk to her?”

There was a low murmur on the line, likely Caius’s answer. Hope couldn’t hear the specifics, but he could see Noel growing paler as Caius continued to talk.

“What?” Noel asked breathlessly, bright blue eyes wide as he took in what the man said. Hope pushed himself up further on the roof, tense as he waited to hear what the conversation was about. “What do you mean — you can’t just leave me with that!”

Another long moment as a voice murmured words over the phone, and finally there was a click before it was hung up from the other side.

“What did he say?” Hope asked, fingers tensing against the cold rooftop. “Does he want us to actually meet them in person?”

Noel was looking down at the phone, bangs mostly obscuring his expression. He took a deep breath, and Hope waited.

“No,” Noel finally answered, sounding shaken. “We can’t speak to Yeul because… because she’s dead. She died two nights ago.”

—

The retired back to the housing units in the dark after that, the both of them quiet. Hope wanted to ask more on the topic, but it didn’t seem the right time.

Yeul was dead. It didn’t seem to register. He recalled the surreal green eyes on the little girl he had seen, about her knowing expression and breathy voice. She didn’t act the age she looked, but despite how mature she was, she was just a little girl. Far too young.

He couldn’t recall any articles about accidents or fatalities that described a little girl in the past two days.

How could it have happened?

Hope wasn’t surprised to see that this father wasn’t home yet when he got back. He flicked on the lights, and stepped out of his wet boots.

“Are you staying for dinner?” He asked Noel quietly, shrugging off his coat. “Dad’s not going to be back for hours yet.”

The young man was pale ever since the phone call, and even now looked vaguely lost. Hope wondered once again just what the connection was between Noel and the Seeress of Paddra, but decided against asking. Even if he were to eventually find out, now was not the time.

Noel took a while to think about it, but eventually nodded. “If you don’t mind.”

Hope closed the door after the other stepped in. Thankfully, the heating unit was working again and the warmth was a blessing after a day of wandering around in the cold. Hope threw his coat and scarf on the couch in the living area, Noel following suit in his footsteps even as Hope finally pulled off his hat to throw down as well.

He wondered what to tell Lightning when she called. She would want to know, but…

Hope wandered into the small kitchen, and pulled open the fridge door, looking for something he could make for dinner.

It didn’t sink in. He should have an easier time accepting the death, but it just seemed… strange. Millions of people died in the Fall, and while Hope had grieved for them, grieved with all the survivors, that felt different. Even his own personal losses felt different.

For some reason, Yeul’s death felt… Somewhere between a statistic and something that would personally affect him. Like it was expected. Except he hadn’t expected it at all, had he? He had known that the Seeress of Paddra died young, but he never figured it to be… that young.

Or it was an accident. An accident they didn’t cite in the news.

No, that wasn’t it. The strange thing was how Caius sounded over the phone. He didn’t sound like he was grieving. Or at least, if he did, he sounded exactly the same as when Yeul had been alive. The man sounded like he expected it. Perhaps a bit angry, but not… shocked, or surprised. It was like he had already known, but couldn’t help being bitter about it after the fact.

“Hope?” A hand pushed the fridge door shut, startling him out of his thoughts. Noel was giving him a curious look. “You’ve been staring inside the fridge for a long time now.”

“Ah.” Hope looked down, slightly embarrassed. He hadn’t meant to get so lost in thought. “I didn’t— Do you mind if we just ordered out?”

He shouldn’t be the one distracted by this now. Noel was the one who probably knew Yeul better than he did. He was the one who was grieving, and who sounded like he knew Caius as far more than just an enemy to be fought. Right now, Hope should be helping Noel get him mind off things and not the other way around.

“That’s fine.” Noel shrugged, deceptively calm about everything. The older teen left him to his thoughts again, heaving back toward the living area as Hope busied himself pulling out the house terminal to order for something. A few swipes of the holographic interface and he shut it off again, pausing.

He knew, of course, that words of comfort didn’t make anything better. Not when it came to death.

Hope ended up rummaging through the cupboards for packets of hot chocolate that had been left over from two nights ago, boiling the water and stirring the packets in. He took both mugs out to the living area, and offered one to Noel before sitting down next the other.

They waited there silently for the food to arrive, both lost in his own thoughts as they nursed the hot chocolate.