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[FFXIII-2] Fall Another Moment (2640 words)
Title: Fall Another Moment
Fandom: Final Fantasy XIII-2
Character/Pairing(s): Hope Estheim, Lightning Farron
Rating: PG
Warning: could be taken with a Hopurai slant, could be not.
Summary: The moment when they finally meet again, stuck between thirteen and four hundred years in the future.
This is a dream, Hope thought as he opened his eyes and looked up, because he could see the world above him like a distorted reflection that showed nothing but cloudy skies. The clouds were shifting, tremulous, and he could feel strands of his hair sifting against his face yet not with the wind. The colors surrounding him were vibrant and daring, yet muted in a sense that he couldn’t see the sunlight to signify day.
He looked down and rested a gloved hand tentatively against what looked like cool stone railings, and frowned. The architecture was unfamiliar, the settings unnerving. The stone should be cold under his fingers, his brain whispered, but it wasn’t. The wind should be chilling his exposed skin, yet he couldn’t feel it.
What was this place? The twisted cityscape that spanned before his eyes to eternity, land meeting sea in a flurry of waves against the shore. It was dark, but his vision was entirely clear….
“Valhalla.” A familiar voice answered his unspoken question, and there was the clink of metal behind him, gentle like graceful footfalls on the ground. “From here, you can see all of time.”
It was true, a part of Hope’s mind thought. Through the turbulent skies, he could catch glimpses of what had been, what was, and what would be. Not enough to make sense of anything, but given enough time…
But his mind wasn’t on this wondrous discovery. Instead, he tightened his grip on the railing, reaching out with his other hand to do the same as if he’d be swallowed up into an abyss if he didn’t cling on. He knew that voice. All these years, all this time, with everyone disappearing, reappearing, telling him that Lightning had assigned them missions throughout time, that there were other places they needed to be because the fate of the world depended on it…
He stopped thinking about his own part years ago. Three years, to be precise, when he forced himself to let go.
He had spent a decade wallowing over the past (still a rather productive decade, but that didn’t change the progression of his thoughts during that time), trying to change things and wondering just about every day why everyone else got chosen for something else, something greater, while he was the only one left behind. Thirteen years ago, six people were chosen to bring down a planet. One person was chosen to gather them all together, and another was chosen to spur them on.
Now, of that number, two were frozen in stasis to save a world, one was fighting to save a Goddess, and four were traveling through time through reasons outside of their control (two of those four working hard to resolve paradoxes and save timelines). Even new players had been introduced to this equation while only one stayed behind.
He wasn’t a child anymore, though. He was grown with responsibilities and a heavy burden on his shoulders. Hope had shoved his way into the larger plan, paving his own path even if he had to do it alone. Years ago he almost resented it, had turmoiled over his actions and decisions, had wondered just why he hadn’t been chosen along with everyone else. Years ago, he hadn’t been able to stand it.
Then came a part when he grew resigned to his fate, grew numb. He would visit Fang and Vanille near everyday at that point, sometimes ranting about his life to them and other times not speaking at all for hours. At that point, he was just tired of being angry, tired of feeling lonely. The quickest and easiest way out of that had been to not feel those emotions at all. A person could only handle intense emotions for so long before they became acclimated, after all. Maybe it was human nature to dull the pain so one could move on.
Serah and Noel appeared at just the right point in Hope’s life, when he learned to shove back any negativity and concentrate on his work. At that point, he was still learning how to smile for his co-workers and take on the mantle of leadership people were quickly fostering on him. He was busy, and while he may not have been happy, he was content.
He was content. It took ten years, but he had finally gotten there. And the next three years… the next three, Hope had looked to the future rather than the past, working his brain to exhaustion each day in an attempt to induce dreamless sleep.
He decided, after Serah and Noel's appearances at the Paddra Ruins, that he was going to push and shove his way into making a difference because he was through with waiting for a sign. No more.
He spent three years looking forward, but now he could feel his resolve crumbling down around his feet.
Don’t look back.
The choice was taken away when the footsteps came forward again, stopping next to him this time. One glance to the side and he forgot the years of anger, of inadequacy, of despondency.
“Lightning,” The name felt like a invocation. He took in the armor, the feathers, the — she hasn’t changed at all. At least not outwardly. Her posture, however, was more rigid than he had seen, even back during the Purge. Tense, as a predator ready to leap at any moment. Still, the flood of relief the sight of her instilled in him was remarkable. “I’ve missed you.”
She finally turned her head just slightly to glance in his direction, and he saw that his previous assumption was false: she had changed more than he could ever have predicted. It made Hope falter, and he turned his attention back to the landscape quickly, now plagued with new questions.
“...Am I dead?” He asked, staring at the skies. Valhalla was the land of the dead, the land of the Goddess. He felt his breath hitch — he had known from the very beginning that the time capsule, nothing more than a gravity well, was a dangerous endeavor. Merely a prototype when there was no real way to test its efficiency. A thousand simulations had been run on the best computers the Academy had to offer, but none of that compared to the real thing.
For a moment, he was disappointed. He had so much more to do, so much to oversee. He was sure he could do better than… just this.
Even so, he wouldn’t mind this if it meant he could see her again. Stay with her. If possible, find his parents. Make peace with all the souls who died during the fall of Cocoon and that time before.
“You’re not dead.” Lightning’s words sounded chastising, as if she couldn’t believe he thought that. “Just dreaming.”
Oh. Snow had said before that Lightning visited him a dream to tell him what needed to be done. Was this… was this it? Over ten years late, it felt like, but better late than never. Always.
“Time passes differently in Valhalla.” Lightning continued to explain. “While it stands still here, the outside world continues to pass. Because of this, we may only have a few minutes before you wake.”
“...I sleep for nearly four hundred years, and I only get a few minutes?” He hoped his incredulousness didn’t show too much. He must not have hidden it very well, because he could see the corner of her lips quirk up in amusement. “That’s a rather… drastic time difference.”
“Hope.” Lightning finally turned to him, a gloved hand on the side of his face in a familiar gesture. Although it wasn’t to tilt his head up to pay attention to her this time. She frowned, looking like she suddenly had another thought over whatever she had wanted to tell him so seriously. “...You grew taller.”
He blinked at the observation. Of… course he had? “It has been thirteen years.”
She didn’t look appeased by the answer. In fact, it only furthered the downward slant of her lips. That evidence of displeasure from her, if anything, made Hope smile. “Do you disapprove?”
“...No.” Her hesitance told more than that, even as her hand dropped from his face. “I don’t.”
But she did somehow, just a little bit, and Hope prided himself on the fact that he could tell even as he wondered why she wouldn’t. Was him actually growing up a bad thing? Had she really expected him to stay the same?
He tried not to let his smile falter. Maybe not. No one else really changed, after all.
(He always thought they had left him behind as a teenager, but maybe it was the other way around. Maybe he was the one growing up and growing old and leaving everyone else behind.)
“It’s just what happens,” he tried to excuse, trying to hold his smile even as he looked down and away. Back to the strange and ethereal landscape before him. He tried to let the swirl of colors and scenery take his mind away from this, but always found himself drawn back to the moment because as much as he wasn’t prepared for this conversation, he didn’t want to miss a single beat. If he only had a few minutes, then he was going to remember every single moment.
Whether it was to analyze later on for data on the time streams and Valhalla or to use as a lifeline, it didn’t truly matter.
“Yes,” Lightning agreed, although she sounded sad. “I suppose it is.”
“Serah’s been looking for you.” He said, but then felt silly for the words. Of course Lightning would have already known, but at the same time he could understand Serah’s predicament — to search and search without any real answers, to go on with faith alone… He wondered if she managed to meet with Lightning yet. If she had, then what he was saying here was moot, but at the same time, those emotions before the end of the journey were still important. “She’s working hard on fixing the timeline and bringing you back.”
“She has a very important job to do.” Lightning agreed, and then hesitated for the slightest moment. “So do you.”
“Yes.” A while ago, he wouldn’t have believed it. That was before meeting up with Serah and Noel. He clenched his fingers reflexively in thought, still far too uncertain to reach out on his own. All these years, and he never learned how to plead for someone not to go; to stay with him and not leave him alone. Instead, Hope learned to solve the problems of others hoping that in some manner, he would be able to find a solution for his own. “Am I allowed to know? If I succeed?”
“You haven’t, yet.” Lightning responded and then drew his attention back to her. It wasn't hard, not when a single movement from her would have him entirely focused. “Not so long as you stay here. But I can tell you this much — without you, we won’t win.”
She held his gaze, and he wondered in that moment if her eyes had always been that blue. Just like Serah’s, except completely different. His memories had been painted over with stress and blood from the time they were l’Cie together, journeying to an impossible task. Not so impossible, perhaps, compared with the situations they were faced with now. If they could succeed then, they could succeed now.
“Maybe one day,” she told him, “You’ll understand just how important you are.”
The words pulled the breath straight from his lungs, and Hope found himself short on anything to say. What could he say? Not important at all if it hadn’t been for you. He wouldn’t be there at all, not in Valhalla but also not in the position he was in, if it hadn’t been for her kindness back when he thought he couldn’t take another step forward. He wouldn’t have survived at all. Everything he was, he owed to her and the others, to Fang and Vanille and Sazh and Snow… to his parents, to Serah and Noel for paving the way…
“Until that day,” Lightning continued, hands now withdrawing, “We’ll both keep fighting for a better future. In Valhalla and… in Academia as well.”
He couldn’t stop himself from reach for her hands this time, even if his grip faded away the moment he made contact, fingers going slack with uncertainty. She was staring at him, expression unchanging, and Hope floundered. How was it that he had been looking forward to seeing her again for so long, and yet when he finally did… he didn’t know what to do, what to say.
He knew that just seeing her again didn’t mean everything was over and that it was all okay, but… her words were reassuring, the water to a drought he hadn’t known he was suffering.
“How come,” he swallowed his hesitance and apprehension, “you didn’t approve of me growing up.”
Or taller. She must have known, though. Even if she hadn’t seen, hadn’t been watching him, she must have known how long it had been. How long she’s been gone for.
“I said I didn’t disapprove.” She reiterated, words more brisk than before. “You…”
She let out a breath, clearly frustrated. Whether it was with him, with the situation, or with herself, Hope wasn’t able to tell.
“It’s a reminder.” She admitted after several awkward moments, even as she looked away this time. “I have to be here. I know this. But you… you’re not supposed to be taller than me. Not yet.”
He wanted to protest that of course he was going to be taller, unless she honestly expected that he would stay short, but then stopped himself. He had been so good at reading her once upon a time. His height wasn’t unexpected, it was just a reminder of all the years she missed.
For a moment, he tried to imagine what it must have been like to be suddenly plucked away from the world, to know there were people waiting for you back home but you wouldn’t be able to go back any time soon, maybe not ever. To see Serah’s life disrupted, to know she was the reason behind the delayed wedding plans Snow had once been so enthusiastic about.
Seeing him now, older than she was…
This time, Hope ignored his previous hesitation and grabbed onto her hands once again. This time, he didn’t let go. He had to get her full attention, the same way she so easily had his. “We’re going to finish this fight.” He told her. “So you won’t miss any more years.”
For him, Lightning was gone from his life the past thirteen years. To the world, perhaps it was four hundred years now. And the fight would take longer than that still, but it had to end at some point. Hope wanted to make sure she would still have a place to go back to. For her, and for Fang and Vanille as well.
For everyone, if he could.
“And I promise,” he couldn’t help his smile, “that I won’t grow any taller before you get home.”
Surprised, Lightning’s eyes widened a moment before she turned her head away, chuckling under her breath. They both knew it was a moot promise, but one that was so easily kept. It was nice to be able to keep one of his promises.
“I’ll hold you to that.” She told him, the edge of her lips lingered in an upward curl. She nodded up toward him. “Close your eyes.”
Hope complied, and felt her hands slip from his. A moment later warm fingers touched his jaw and pulled him down the slightest bit before a warm softness was pressed against his forehead and an exhale of breath against his skin.
“Dream of the future,” she whispered to him. “And change the world when you wake up, Hope Estheim.”
When he opened his eyes again, Valhalla was gone and the lights were that of Academia 400AF.
Fandom: Final Fantasy XIII-2
Character/Pairing(s): Hope Estheim, Lightning Farron
Rating: PG
Warning: could be taken with a Hopurai slant, could be not.
Summary: The moment when they finally meet again, stuck between thirteen and four hundred years in the future.
This is a dream, Hope thought as he opened his eyes and looked up, because he could see the world above him like a distorted reflection that showed nothing but cloudy skies. The clouds were shifting, tremulous, and he could feel strands of his hair sifting against his face yet not with the wind. The colors surrounding him were vibrant and daring, yet muted in a sense that he couldn’t see the sunlight to signify day.
He looked down and rested a gloved hand tentatively against what looked like cool stone railings, and frowned. The architecture was unfamiliar, the settings unnerving. The stone should be cold under his fingers, his brain whispered, but it wasn’t. The wind should be chilling his exposed skin, yet he couldn’t feel it.
What was this place? The twisted cityscape that spanned before his eyes to eternity, land meeting sea in a flurry of waves against the shore. It was dark, but his vision was entirely clear….
“Valhalla.” A familiar voice answered his unspoken question, and there was the clink of metal behind him, gentle like graceful footfalls on the ground. “From here, you can see all of time.”
It was true, a part of Hope’s mind thought. Through the turbulent skies, he could catch glimpses of what had been, what was, and what would be. Not enough to make sense of anything, but given enough time…
But his mind wasn’t on this wondrous discovery. Instead, he tightened his grip on the railing, reaching out with his other hand to do the same as if he’d be swallowed up into an abyss if he didn’t cling on. He knew that voice. All these years, all this time, with everyone disappearing, reappearing, telling him that Lightning had assigned them missions throughout time, that there were other places they needed to be because the fate of the world depended on it…
He stopped thinking about his own part years ago. Three years, to be precise, when he forced himself to let go.
He had spent a decade wallowing over the past (still a rather productive decade, but that didn’t change the progression of his thoughts during that time), trying to change things and wondering just about every day why everyone else got chosen for something else, something greater, while he was the only one left behind. Thirteen years ago, six people were chosen to bring down a planet. One person was chosen to gather them all together, and another was chosen to spur them on.
Now, of that number, two were frozen in stasis to save a world, one was fighting to save a Goddess, and four were traveling through time through reasons outside of their control (two of those four working hard to resolve paradoxes and save timelines). Even new players had been introduced to this equation while only one stayed behind.
He wasn’t a child anymore, though. He was grown with responsibilities and a heavy burden on his shoulders. Hope had shoved his way into the larger plan, paving his own path even if he had to do it alone. Years ago he almost resented it, had turmoiled over his actions and decisions, had wondered just why he hadn’t been chosen along with everyone else. Years ago, he hadn’t been able to stand it.
Then came a part when he grew resigned to his fate, grew numb. He would visit Fang and Vanille near everyday at that point, sometimes ranting about his life to them and other times not speaking at all for hours. At that point, he was just tired of being angry, tired of feeling lonely. The quickest and easiest way out of that had been to not feel those emotions at all. A person could only handle intense emotions for so long before they became acclimated, after all. Maybe it was human nature to dull the pain so one could move on.
Serah and Noel appeared at just the right point in Hope’s life, when he learned to shove back any negativity and concentrate on his work. At that point, he was still learning how to smile for his co-workers and take on the mantle of leadership people were quickly fostering on him. He was busy, and while he may not have been happy, he was content.
He was content. It took ten years, but he had finally gotten there. And the next three years… the next three, Hope had looked to the future rather than the past, working his brain to exhaustion each day in an attempt to induce dreamless sleep.
He decided, after Serah and Noel's appearances at the Paddra Ruins, that he was going to push and shove his way into making a difference because he was through with waiting for a sign. No more.
He spent three years looking forward, but now he could feel his resolve crumbling down around his feet.
Don’t look back.
The choice was taken away when the footsteps came forward again, stopping next to him this time. One glance to the side and he forgot the years of anger, of inadequacy, of despondency.
“Lightning,” The name felt like a invocation. He took in the armor, the feathers, the — she hasn’t changed at all. At least not outwardly. Her posture, however, was more rigid than he had seen, even back during the Purge. Tense, as a predator ready to leap at any moment. Still, the flood of relief the sight of her instilled in him was remarkable. “I’ve missed you.”
She finally turned her head just slightly to glance in his direction, and he saw that his previous assumption was false: she had changed more than he could ever have predicted. It made Hope falter, and he turned his attention back to the landscape quickly, now plagued with new questions.
“...Am I dead?” He asked, staring at the skies. Valhalla was the land of the dead, the land of the Goddess. He felt his breath hitch — he had known from the very beginning that the time capsule, nothing more than a gravity well, was a dangerous endeavor. Merely a prototype when there was no real way to test its efficiency. A thousand simulations had been run on the best computers the Academy had to offer, but none of that compared to the real thing.
For a moment, he was disappointed. He had so much more to do, so much to oversee. He was sure he could do better than… just this.
Even so, he wouldn’t mind this if it meant he could see her again. Stay with her. If possible, find his parents. Make peace with all the souls who died during the fall of Cocoon and that time before.
“You’re not dead.” Lightning’s words sounded chastising, as if she couldn’t believe he thought that. “Just dreaming.”
Oh. Snow had said before that Lightning visited him a dream to tell him what needed to be done. Was this… was this it? Over ten years late, it felt like, but better late than never. Always.
“Time passes differently in Valhalla.” Lightning continued to explain. “While it stands still here, the outside world continues to pass. Because of this, we may only have a few minutes before you wake.”
“...I sleep for nearly four hundred years, and I only get a few minutes?” He hoped his incredulousness didn’t show too much. He must not have hidden it very well, because he could see the corner of her lips quirk up in amusement. “That’s a rather… drastic time difference.”
“Hope.” Lightning finally turned to him, a gloved hand on the side of his face in a familiar gesture. Although it wasn’t to tilt his head up to pay attention to her this time. She frowned, looking like she suddenly had another thought over whatever she had wanted to tell him so seriously. “...You grew taller.”
He blinked at the observation. Of… course he had? “It has been thirteen years.”
She didn’t look appeased by the answer. In fact, it only furthered the downward slant of her lips. That evidence of displeasure from her, if anything, made Hope smile. “Do you disapprove?”
“...No.” Her hesitance told more than that, even as her hand dropped from his face. “I don’t.”
But she did somehow, just a little bit, and Hope prided himself on the fact that he could tell even as he wondered why she wouldn’t. Was him actually growing up a bad thing? Had she really expected him to stay the same?
He tried not to let his smile falter. Maybe not. No one else really changed, after all.
(He always thought they had left him behind as a teenager, but maybe it was the other way around. Maybe he was the one growing up and growing old and leaving everyone else behind.)
“It’s just what happens,” he tried to excuse, trying to hold his smile even as he looked down and away. Back to the strange and ethereal landscape before him. He tried to let the swirl of colors and scenery take his mind away from this, but always found himself drawn back to the moment because as much as he wasn’t prepared for this conversation, he didn’t want to miss a single beat. If he only had a few minutes, then he was going to remember every single moment.
Whether it was to analyze later on for data on the time streams and Valhalla or to use as a lifeline, it didn’t truly matter.
“Yes,” Lightning agreed, although she sounded sad. “I suppose it is.”
“Serah’s been looking for you.” He said, but then felt silly for the words. Of course Lightning would have already known, but at the same time he could understand Serah’s predicament — to search and search without any real answers, to go on with faith alone… He wondered if she managed to meet with Lightning yet. If she had, then what he was saying here was moot, but at the same time, those emotions before the end of the journey were still important. “She’s working hard on fixing the timeline and bringing you back.”
“She has a very important job to do.” Lightning agreed, and then hesitated for the slightest moment. “So do you.”
“Yes.” A while ago, he wouldn’t have believed it. That was before meeting up with Serah and Noel. He clenched his fingers reflexively in thought, still far too uncertain to reach out on his own. All these years, and he never learned how to plead for someone not to go; to stay with him and not leave him alone. Instead, Hope learned to solve the problems of others hoping that in some manner, he would be able to find a solution for his own. “Am I allowed to know? If I succeed?”
“You haven’t, yet.” Lightning responded and then drew his attention back to her. It wasn't hard, not when a single movement from her would have him entirely focused. “Not so long as you stay here. But I can tell you this much — without you, we won’t win.”
She held his gaze, and he wondered in that moment if her eyes had always been that blue. Just like Serah’s, except completely different. His memories had been painted over with stress and blood from the time they were l’Cie together, journeying to an impossible task. Not so impossible, perhaps, compared with the situations they were faced with now. If they could succeed then, they could succeed now.
“Maybe one day,” she told him, “You’ll understand just how important you are.”
The words pulled the breath straight from his lungs, and Hope found himself short on anything to say. What could he say? Not important at all if it hadn’t been for you. He wouldn’t be there at all, not in Valhalla but also not in the position he was in, if it hadn’t been for her kindness back when he thought he couldn’t take another step forward. He wouldn’t have survived at all. Everything he was, he owed to her and the others, to Fang and Vanille and Sazh and Snow… to his parents, to Serah and Noel for paving the way…
“Until that day,” Lightning continued, hands now withdrawing, “We’ll both keep fighting for a better future. In Valhalla and… in Academia as well.”
He couldn’t stop himself from reach for her hands this time, even if his grip faded away the moment he made contact, fingers going slack with uncertainty. She was staring at him, expression unchanging, and Hope floundered. How was it that he had been looking forward to seeing her again for so long, and yet when he finally did… he didn’t know what to do, what to say.
He knew that just seeing her again didn’t mean everything was over and that it was all okay, but… her words were reassuring, the water to a drought he hadn’t known he was suffering.
“How come,” he swallowed his hesitance and apprehension, “you didn’t approve of me growing up.”
Or taller. She must have known, though. Even if she hadn’t seen, hadn’t been watching him, she must have known how long it had been. How long she’s been gone for.
“I said I didn’t disapprove.” She reiterated, words more brisk than before. “You…”
She let out a breath, clearly frustrated. Whether it was with him, with the situation, or with herself, Hope wasn’t able to tell.
“It’s a reminder.” She admitted after several awkward moments, even as she looked away this time. “I have to be here. I know this. But you… you’re not supposed to be taller than me. Not yet.”
He wanted to protest that of course he was going to be taller, unless she honestly expected that he would stay short, but then stopped himself. He had been so good at reading her once upon a time. His height wasn’t unexpected, it was just a reminder of all the years she missed.
For a moment, he tried to imagine what it must have been like to be suddenly plucked away from the world, to know there were people waiting for you back home but you wouldn’t be able to go back any time soon, maybe not ever. To see Serah’s life disrupted, to know she was the reason behind the delayed wedding plans Snow had once been so enthusiastic about.
Seeing him now, older than she was…
This time, Hope ignored his previous hesitation and grabbed onto her hands once again. This time, he didn’t let go. He had to get her full attention, the same way she so easily had his. “We’re going to finish this fight.” He told her. “So you won’t miss any more years.”
For him, Lightning was gone from his life the past thirteen years. To the world, perhaps it was four hundred years now. And the fight would take longer than that still, but it had to end at some point. Hope wanted to make sure she would still have a place to go back to. For her, and for Fang and Vanille as well.
For everyone, if he could.
“And I promise,” he couldn’t help his smile, “that I won’t grow any taller before you get home.”
Surprised, Lightning’s eyes widened a moment before she turned her head away, chuckling under her breath. They both knew it was a moot promise, but one that was so easily kept. It was nice to be able to keep one of his promises.
“I’ll hold you to that.” She told him, the edge of her lips lingered in an upward curl. She nodded up toward him. “Close your eyes.”
Hope complied, and felt her hands slip from his. A moment later warm fingers touched his jaw and pulled him down the slightest bit before a warm softness was pressed against his forehead and an exhale of breath against his skin.
“Dream of the future,” she whispered to him. “And change the world when you wake up, Hope Estheim.”
When he opened his eyes again, Valhalla was gone and the lights were that of Academia 400AF.