shamera: Fuuma, Kamui, and Subaru cosplayers (Default)
Shamera K. Tsukishirou ([personal profile] shamera) wrote2005-09-21 12:57 pm
Entry tags:

Fic: Dream (X, PG-13)

Title: Dream
Author: Shamera Tsukishirou
Fandom: X/1999
Words: 2,595
Pairing: Fuuma/Kamui

Challenge
X-1999, fuuma/kamui (not necessarily as a romance). 1,000 words minimum. must include the words giving, angel, and roseate.
must also be influenced by this rilke exerpt:

The First Elegy

Who, if i cried out, would hear me among the angels'
hierarchies? and even if one of them pressed me
suddenly against his heart: i would be consumed
in that overwhelming existence. For beauty is nothing
but the beginning of terror, which we still are just able to endure,
and we are so awed because it serenely disdains
to annihilate us. Every angel is terrifying.




Perhaps it was a dream. Perhaps it wasn’t.

With the number of dreamseers hard at work to change the future now that the Promised Day was so close in coming, Kamui could never be sure whether his dreams were his or another’s that was for his eyes to see. There was as much danger to him during his dreams as when he was awake... perhaps more. But Kamui preferred the solace of his dreams, where he was usually the spectator on the sides and not the main participant, waiting as events unfolded themselves and doing his best to act indifferent to those events.

After all, his dreams were usually filled with what had already happened, rather than those of the dreamseers' and their dreams of what will come to be.

I’m dreaming, Kamui realized as he found himself staring out enormous glass windows outside at a beautiful roseate sunset. But it was not his usual dreams of childish laughter and the winds of fate blowing his direction, but rather something like being in another’s dream. It was the same surreal feeling he got whenever he was entranced by Hinoto’s prophecies. The dream itself felt too real for it to be his own, the glass cold and unyielding under his fingertips as he pressed against it, seeing the warmth of his hands leave smoky rings on the clear crystal.

“Isn’t it beautiful, though?” Came a voice behind his ear, the soft air brushing against his hair and making him tense as a hand came to cover his on the glass.

Suddenly he was aware of the room he was in, of the posh surroundings and the young man who stood behind him with the malicious smile, warm and deceptively inviting as he pulled Kamui closer to himself, wrapping an arm around the teenager’s waist.

And Kamui… he could not find it within himself to fight off that touch, even knowing that it was not from the friend he once had, was not as protective and meant him more harm than its soothing touch promised. He kept his eyes on the scene outside the window, on the freedom and the beauty that was beyond his reach.

“Sunsets like this are near impossible to view on Earth anymore.” The voice continued to speak, and Kamui could feel the broad chest pressing against his back, the arm around him warm “It only exists in dreams anymore. My dreams. This is what I can see after the Promised Day. This vision of beauty of what is coming, what I am fighting for.” A hesitant kiss against his ear. “Don’t you think that this is worth fighting for?”

Watching the sun set behind bright red clouds and twin birds flying outside, weaving through the sky and diving through the unpolluted air, Kamui was almost inclined to agree.

Such freedom there. Such beauty. He could feel the warmth of the setting sun on his face, could almost taste the fresh air and feel the twilight winds in his hair. Or perhaps that was Fuuma’s breathing at his neck, and this was all an illusion.

“I am a Dragon of Heaven. I can’t allow you to bring this to pass.”

The hand on his was warm, and Kamui could almost feel Fuuma’s dark smile as the older boy pushed Kamui’s hand from the glass windows, entwining their fingers. “And I am a Dragon of Earth. It is my destiny to bring about this future and save the Earth from those who are seeking to kill her, to stifle her with their greed and expansion. You find this vision beautiful. Your thoughts show that clearly on your face… for you, I will make this sunset into a reality when the time comes.”

There was only a blur, a ripple in reality when their scenery changed, and Kamui found himself standing atop crystal waves of water, the sun shining down on him in midday, and his area surrounded by crumbling office towers, all overgrown with moss and ivy vines, with butterflies and small flying insects darting in and out where the windows used to be, sometimes skimming the surface of the water and coming to rest on water lilies floating gently on the top.

There were trees at the edge of the water, and even some plants that grew from underneath the clear liquid, their roots going so far down that the sun wasn’t able to penetrate that deep, but Kamui could still see the glistening and silvery scales of fish in the water, swimming to and fro in their own business and not paying him the slightest bit of attention.

“I know what you want, Kamui.”

Once again, that voice. Kamui didn’t have to look up to feel Fuuma’s presence behind him, watching in with dark golden eyes, waiting for his response. For it was always Kamui who responded first, after all, and Fuuma who reacted.

“I am your shadow, your twin. I know your wishes; I watch your dreams.”

Kamui knelt down on the water, dipping fingers into the liquid and startling some of the fish as he tried to ignore the words, tried in vain to ignore the footsteps that was Fuuma coming closer. No matter how beautiful the dream was, he wanted out. He didn’t want to deal with Fuuma right now, couldn’t deal with Fuuma right now.

Because, he knew, that he still lacked the strength to fight against his former friend. And the more Fuuma continued to speak to him in that soft tone, no matter how harsh the words, Kamui knew he would break.

Harsh hands in his hair jerked his head up, and Kamui’s eyes met with warm amber eyes hidden behind dark sunglasses, and the smile that Fuuma gave him could have made Kamui cry from the familiarity of it, from how many happy memories he remembered from his childhood with Fuuma smiling so gently at him like that.

“This is why you can’t win.” The Dragon of Earth informed him. “Because what you wish for is what I wish for, and I already know the outcome of the Promised Day. Choice is a lie, Kamui. The future has already been preordained.”

“The future has not yet been decided.” Kamui repeated, his tone forceful in an effort not to make Fuuma believe it, but to make himself believe it. He rested a hand on Fuuma’s cheek, voice pleading, “Why are you doing this, Fuuma? If you know me so well, you’ll know that I don’t want to fight you…”

“But that is our destiny.” Fuuma interjected calmly, still smiling so gently at him, even with the harsh fingers in his hair. “And if you value the lives of the people who live on this Earth, then you will fight me. But you will lose.”

“Fuuma…”

“You will lose because it is your wish to see an end to this battle, because you too long for this vision of beauty and peace and freedom. But you do not have the strength to carry it out yourself.” Fuuma leaned in close to the younger boy, tenderly nipping at his jaw line. “And I will give it to you, because that is my destiny; to be everything you are not.”

Kamui closed his eyes against the bitter vision he was presented with, wishing that this touch were true. But Fuuma was right in one thing- they were twin stars, and as Fuuma’s twin star, Kamui could already feel the violence rising in the older teen.

He could feel Fuuma’s other hand on his neck, pressing down hard against pale skin and leaving hard indentations with his nails.

“If you can not gather the will to fight against me, you will die.” Fuuma informed him casually. “No matter if this is a dream. On the Final Day, if you can not fight… I will kill you. And then you will be unable to see this paradise you have created by your choice to join the Seven Seals, leaving me to fill your spot as leader of the Seven Angels.”

“What does it matter?” Kamui whispered against the pressure on his throat, violet eyes staring unseeingly into the clear blue sky of the dream. “I don’t want to fight you, Fuuma. My wish is not for the renewal of the Earth, but only for you to remember who you once were.”

The pressure against his throat increased for a moment, making Kamui struggle and gasp to breathe, but never raising his own hands or power against the other. As the grip lightened up the slightest, Kamui felt himself pushed back against the water, never sinking into the deep depths, but merely resting against the water’s surface, the back of his shirt soaking through immediately and the liquid gathering to slowly immerse the rest of the cotton.

He watched as Fuuma leaned over his body, his mind still filled with that surreal haziness that accompanied an enchanted dream. He didn’t want to fight anymore. He was sick of watching the people he cared about dying around him, sick of watching that smile he loved so appear every time before blood was shed.

“I’ve never been more true to myself than in the past few months,” Fuuma informed him. He held up Kamui’s wrists above his head, and used his other hand to caress the red marks on Kamui’s neck, his fingers dipping down to the hallow of the Seal’s collarbone. “Don’t you understand, Kamui? My entire life I have been restricted… I have restrained myself; I have held back. I have loved you, and watched as you were enchanted with Kotori. I have protected you, and watched you leave… only to come back and refuse to acknowledge me. I have been the perfect son, the perfect brother, the perfect friend.

“Have you ever thought that perhaps it was all just a façade? And that perhaps this,” Fuuma leaned closer, pressing his body against Kamui’s, “this is the real me?”

It couldn’t have been, Kamui’s mind denied. “You only say that because you’re a Dragon of Earth now…”

Fuuma pulled away, giving a snort of disgust.

Seeing that, Kamui pressed on. “I’ve talked with the Angels’ Dreamseer. He’s confirmed for me that had I chosen to become a Dragon of Earth, had you been a Dragon of Heaven… our positions would have been reversed. That I would have been the one to be changed like you are.”

“Had that happened, you would still not have been able to understand.” Fuuma’s amber eyes were dark and unfathomable. “Had our positions been reversed, the situation would still not be the same.”

Kamui struggled to sit up against Fuuma’s weight. “Fuuma…”

The Angel’s response was quick as lightning, and Kamui gasped and raised his own hands to claw against Fuuma’s as the older boy held his throat down in earnest, his nails drawing thin trails of blood on pale skin this time. “I am Kamui. One who hunts the authority of God!”

It only took a few moments before Kamui’s eyes teared up from the struggle for oxygen, but he never looked away from Fuuma’s eyes, never lost that defiance and the knowledge that this was his best friend, his sworn protector.

“Your pain always tastes the sweetest.” Fuuma stated as he kissed away those tears, his tongue lapping up the salt that escaped, lingering over soft skin. His grip was letting up again, and Kamui drew up uneven and heavy breaths when Fuuma’s hands finally released his throat to wander lower, to skim down Kamui’s sides and wrap around his waist in an intimate embrace.

“You have to learn how to fight against me, Kamui.” Fuuma whispered against his ear. “Or I will break every bone in your body before the Promised Day, and you will never have the chance to defend your precious people. That has to be reason you’re a Dragon of Heaven, isn’t it? To fight for humanity?”

Kamui didn’t know whether to push the other boy away or not. “I fight for you.”

“How ironic. You might not believe me when I say that I also fight for you.” Fuuma lifted his head to stare Kamui down, nose to nose. “For your freedom from this fate.”

“You mean to kill me.”

That smile again, that gentle one that looked like Fuuma was about to let him in on a secret that would brighten his day. “Only if you can not kill me in return.”

Kamui closed his eyes to escape the gaze. “I could never do that.”

“Oh, I disagree. You’ll change your mind when you watch the rest of your Dragons die by my hand. As well as that other boy… Daisuke, I believe his name was? I’ll be nice. I’ll let you keep his pretty eyes.”

There was a stir of panic in his heart before Kamui managed to quell it, seeing Fuuma's dark smile grow wider. Kamui glared. “He’s not a part of this.”

“That’s where you’re wrong. Everyone is a part of our battle, Kamui. But if the burden is too much, you could always deflect. Let the Tokyo Tower be destroyed. Refuse to take up the Shiken. And if you do, then I will show you this paradise outside of a dream. I will destroy the fate which has pestered and tormented you so. I will destroy everything that you have disagreed with, and everyone who has looked upon you, so that in the end all you will see is me.” A hand brushed gently at his bangs. “I have promised to protect you from the world, after all.”

The water was cold, and the sunlight could do nothing to stop the shiver to settling on Kamui’s spine when he looked at his former friend. It was as if the entire dream had gone silent, the insects and bird calls gone just to wait for his answer.

But who would protect me from you?

“If I don’t fight,” Kamui chose his words carefully. “Then the people will die. And I can not condemn all of them to death for a battle they know nothing of. No one should hold the power of life or death over the entire human race.”

“But that power has been given to you. You were born to decide their fate.”

“And I have decided to protect the world that Fuuma and Kotori loved so much.”

The darkened eyes stared quietly. “You are naïve. That is a world you hate.”

“But I love Fuuma and Kotori.” Kamui countered softly. “And I want to preserve the world for them.”

It was as if the words struck a cord with the dream, for the next moment his surroundings wavered again and he found himself pressed against the floor of the posh room with the windows looking out at the brilliant sunset, his wet shirt and hair dripping onto the thick carpets where he lay, and Fuuma still laying atop him with that disappointed frown.

It took a minute of the two of them staring at each other before Fuuma scowled, a countenance unlike his usual calm and collected self, before pushing himself up and off of Kamui, saying, “And still, you do not understand.”

Fuuma took a few moments to compose himself, brushing off imaginary dirt from his shirt as he frowned at Kamui, who was still laying on the floor and looking at him intently.

“You’ll need a better reason than that to be a Dragon of Heaven, Kamui. Memories will not grant you a Kekkai.”

And that was when Kamui finally awoke.





Originally posted at [livejournal.com profile] blackpotkettle ([livejournal.com profile] losthitsuzen, do you still have time for those challenges? XD), and forgotten about. ^^; Well, it's here and accounted for now!

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